You may be wondering from the title…self love…Hmmmmmm WHAT is this going to be about? Well…What I want to talk about is how important it is to love yourself EMOTIONALLY. What it is to give yourself time and space to do things that you love, guilt free and the difference it can make to the way you feel!
You’ve probably heard it a million times if you’ve been looking into what actually leads to happiness and self-esteem for a while. ‘First, you must love yourself!’ But, in practical terms, you don’t know what it really means, or what it could look like for you, if it even works or if it’s just some woo-woo mumbo-jumbo!
Well…trust me, it’s not! The reason self love SO important is that when you can truly love yourself, and all your inevitable flaws, THAT’s when you invite more love and appreciation from people in your life.
You start to radiate confidence and your ‘vibe’ visibly shifts and you start to attract the right people to you. Let me give you an example. Do you have someone in your life who has an ‘infectious’ personality? When they laugh other people can’t help but laugh with them? Someone people just love to be around? THAT’s what I’m talking about. Who is the person in the room that you’re attracted to? The one smiling and confident talking to everyone? Or the person in the corner clearly having a moan about something or just giving off a ‘bad vibe’ that you can’t quite put your finger on?
The ‘vibe’ you give off is directly linked to how you behave towards yourself, how you think about yourself, how you talk to yourself in your head. If that’s all negative talk how do you think it’s coming across externally? I’d like you to think about all the ways in which you’re unkind to yourself.
Is it your diet? Drinking too much? Do you look in the mirror and criticise what you see? Really analyse what you say to yourself. If you heard anyone talking to your best friend, or sister the way you talk to yourself, what would you say to them? Would you let them get away with it? How do you actually feel when you speak to yourself in this way?
If you saw your best friend or sister treating her body and health in the way you do, would you want to intervene? If you wouldn’t allow it for a friend, why would you allow it for yourself? If we’re honest most of us abuse ourselves in some way. For me, it definitely used to be all the above.
I was incredibly hard on myself, all the time, and then because I was feeling bad about myself emotionally I abused my body physically…usually by eating absolute junk (now…i’m not saying I’ve TOTALLY given it up, we’re all entitled to our vices…pizza just happens to be mine…but hey, all in moderation offset with making sure I do something good, then it’s guilt free, whoop! BALANCE!)
I used to think that ‘treating myself’ to what I call ‘naughty food’ was being kind to myself but all it resulted in was a feeling of guilt afterward….and an ever-increasing waistline…and decreasing self-esteem, which made me want more comfort food, Can you see a destructive pattern here?
Basically, I felt rubbish, all the time and it was a vicious cycle. BUT, the good news is you can get yourself out of it. Let’s start with getting that all important ‘vibe’ up a bit.
So, now to practice a little self love.
I want you to think about what you really love doing, for you!. Something that makes you feel reeeeally good that you just don’t do enough. I have a handy little tool for you to help with this at the bottom of this email will help you get clear on what it is you love and help you move forward in loving yourself that little bit more.
So, what lights you up? Is it having a massage? Going for dinner with a friend? Going to see a movie? Snuggling the dog? A good Netflix binge? Good book? Is there something you’ve always wanted to learn but put off? Take action and book it in!
What I want you to do is schedule things in your diary and do something that makes YOU feel good. When you schedule something then you are MORE likely to do it and LESS likely to feel any pangs of guilt like you should be doing something else. This is time just for you.
Pop your details in below to get your FREE printable and fill it in, then take at least one thing per week from your list and put it in your diary and DO IT!
That way you’ll have something to look forward to every single week. Do it every DAY if you can! There are also some affirmations for you that will help you with your negative self-talk. Make it part of your routine.
The more you say these things out loud the more your brain begins to believe it…you might feel silly at first (I know I certainly did) but trust me, it works! – The why and how affirmations work are for a whooole other blog, just trust me for now that they do!
What can you do to be better to yourself today? I’d love to hear in the comments! Here’s to self love and the wonderful, beautiful creature that you are!
Fran Excell, Mindset & Productivity Coach – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here
Download your FREE Stressed To Success Meditation here
Shop Printables & Meditations here
Grab your 365 day ‘Attitude Of Gratitude’ Journal here
Grab Your ‘Positive Pants Firmly On’ Notebook here
Book In a Free 20 Minute Discovery Call here