OK, so…hands up, you’re not about to read anything ‘ground-breaking’ right here but stick with me for a moment.
What I want you to do is trust me…even though you may have heard similar things a thousand times and rolled your eyes, really think about why it might actually be that you keep hearing it time and time again.
It really is this simple…it’s just not quite as easy as it sounds and it takes practice…like yoga.
Using the tips in part 1& 2 of this blog I’ve taken myself from a pretty dark hole in my life and being one of the most negative worriers that I know to being someone who can turn a negative into a positive at the drop of a hat, someone who notices all the little things, someone who believes there is always another way to look at a situation, someone who is actually happy.
Am I a work in progress? Sure… I’m not Pollyanna! BUT when negativity strikes or I’m feeling down then I do have the ability to turn my thoughts around sharpish.
The basic principles of everything I’ve learned over the last few years really do start with a few simple things.
Using these tips will help you feel better, quickly, and will hopefully start your own little (or huge!) ‘journey of self-discovery’…so I’m gonna start you off with the basics here…
1) Be Grateful – “The secret to having it all is to know you already do.” – Author unknown
Gratitude physically changes your brain. The research is overwhelming, it’s fact. Through neuroplasticity by thinking about what you’re grateful for you actually create new neural pathways that change your thought patterns and those lovely positive vibes start to be your default rather than the negative thought patterns you’re used to. I teach people to make gratitude a daily habit and the changes in their mindsets are phenomenal. Essentially you can think of the brain as having a gratitude muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets.
2) Be Kind – “A random act of kindness, no matter how small, can make a tremendous impact on someone else’s life.” – Roy T. Bennett
Negative thoughts can’t be in the same place at the same time as positive ones. It’s impossible. Being kind to other people is the most amazing feeling, going out of your way to do something nice will always make you feel good and the more you do it the more natural it becomes and the more amazing you feel. I challenge people to think of nice things to do for others throughout the day and they always comment on the amazing buzz they get after it and how much it lifts their mood. We can all be a bit nicer right? It doesn’t matter how small the act. Maybe today challenge yourself, give your seat up on the tube, let someone out rather than pushing past them, buy a coffee for a homeless person, give someone a genuine compliment…feels good right?
3) Live in the present – “No amount of regretting can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.” ― Roy T. Bennett
It’s so easy to dwell on bad things that have happened or people that have upset you OR on the flip side thinking the worst about something that hasn’t even happened yet!
I used to have full on arguments with people in my head ‘preparing myself for the worst’ and all I did was work myself up, 99 times out of 100 it was completely unnecessary and that bad, terrible. awful thing that was DEFINITELY going to happen…didn’t. Silly right?
The thing you need to ask yourself when you find yourself in these situations is ‘Who is this helping?’ and ‘Who is this hurting?’
The answer is probably no-one and YOU! So catch those thoughts and tell your inner critic to shut the hell up and then deal with things if and when they happen.
I spent a VERY long time being unable to forgive someone who had done something awful and then someone said. “You do realise that person has NO idea you’re angry, they don’t care, they’re going about their day having a lovely time while you’re the one tied up in knots. Not forgiving someone is like eating rat poison….and expecting the rat to die.” Ridiculous right?!
4) Self Care – “Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. ” – Lucille Ball
Funnily enough this is one of my favourite ones.
I have a ‘self-care’ list of things I love. Think, manicures, bubble baths, reading a chapter of a book, watching one of my favourite shows on Netflix, peanut butter!
When I’m feeling down I block out time to do one or more of these things, it’s that simple.
You allow yourself enough time to feel good but not too much that it turns into procrastination!! Mucho Importante!
I encourage people just before they go to bed to think about one thing they are looking forward to the next day. If there’s REALLY nothing to look forward to you go to your self-care list and you pick something and schedule it in….physically diarising things makes them real and SO much more likely to happen, give it a go it’s a game changer!
That’s it for part 1! Keep an eye out for part 2 coming up and in the meantime PLEASE start actioning some of these, you won’t regret it!
If you’d like a little help along the way then please do download my free ‘Attitude of Gratitude’ printable journal entry below.
It’s what I use every single day and makes the biggest difference!
Please do let me know how you get on!
Fran Excell, Mindset & Productivity Coach – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.
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