Small Changes Mean Big Changes!
Small changes really do mean big changes. The issue we have though is that we often don’t notice them to start with.
With any kind of mindset work (by mindset I mean brain and body, nervous system level work) it can feel REALLY frustrating to start with.
You’re putting the effort in (and it really DOES feel like effort because you’re going against your rehearsed and repeated familiar patterns that the brain likes you to follow, you have to be conscious a lot of the time instead of running on autopilot 95-99% of the time) but you’re feeling like the changes aren’t coming quick enough.
I’ve been there. It drove me mad to start with because I felt like I was doing ALL the things and not really reaping the rewards just yet.
But when you think about what you’re ACTUALLY doing, it makes sense why it would take a hot minute.
You’re rewiring new neural pathways. You’re going against what your nervous system believes is ‘safe’ and going into danger territory. You’re trying to work against autopilot which your brain is trying to keep you in to conserve energy.
It’s a lot!
But also when we have more of an ‘end goal’ in mind all we’re looking at is the fact we’re not there yet. But we’re doing all the things!
Firstly a big thing I can’t bang on about enough is that there really is no ‘end goal’ there’s always another layer of the onion to peel and that’s a GOOD thing because you’re constantly getting better and better and growing every day.
But when you start to really tune in to the seemingly SMALLER changes that are happening for you it makes a HUGE difference about how you feel about the journey and how you feel about yourself.
And that really is half the battle with all of this working on yourself. The way you talk to yourself, the way you understand yourself, the way you find empathy and compassion for yourself and just stop the self blame and shame cycle.
You have adaptive protection mechanisms built into your system. They served you once, they don’t now.
But they are ‘warning’ systems. They are systems of self protection. Essentially they have your best interests and very survival at heart.
So of COURSE that’s going to take some time. BUT, the trick is to really consciously start to look for those small changes and I bet you’ll see you’ve already come WAY further than you think you have.
Start to look out for when you might have blamed or shamed yourself in the past, and you didn’t.
Look for the moments where you catch yourself in negative self-talk and course correct it. You start with ‘Urgh you’re so stupid!’ You catch yourself…’Hang on, no you’re NOT stupid, you can do this!’ Yes your natural instinct was to blame and shame yourself but you caught yourself in that unconscious pattern and didn’t stay in it! Don’t underestimate how much of a big deal that is in itself. You may have talked to yourself that way for multiple decades and you just talked back! KUDOS!
It could be that you notice something that would normally trigger you, didn’t!
It could be that you recover more quickly from being triggered. Or there’s more time in between instances of being triggered.
Your good days may start to outweigh the bad ones. Your good moments may start to outweigh the bad ones.
It might be that you notice you’re just a bit calmer than you normally would be. Or you catastrophise less.
You may notice an increase in your ability to regulate your own emotions.
You might feel more capable of setting boundaries and do less people pleasing.
You may say NO! When before you would have ALWAYS said yes.
It may be that you’re being a bit nicer to yourself in your own head.
Or maybe you’ve been able to stick to a new habit for longer than you’ve been able to before.
You may just feel slightly more self assured.
You may just notice you’re less ‘reactive’ than you were.
You might have more capacity to just ‘cope’ with what life throws at you.
All of this can be difficult to see when you’re not looking. So start looking. Start noticing.
I bet you’ll find you’ve made WAY more progress than you’re giving yourself credit for.
These seemingly small changes are actually HUGE. They all add up to that moment in the future where you realise how different everything is for you.
When you realise you’re not that person with low self esteem beating themselves up believing they aren’t capable of doing the things they see other people doing. Looking at them thinking ‘why not me!’
You’re not that person anymore. You’re the person who is confident in themselves and their own abilities. That knows that even if you have a bad day it doesn’t mean ‘you’re’ bad. That person who is curious to what negative thoughts, feelings and emotions might be trying to tell you rather than judging them or yourself for being there.
We love instant gratification as a society. We’ve been conditioned to expect it. I want to champion the small steps and the small changes that happen over time. They’re the most sustainable, life changing ones!
So, have a think. What small changes can you notice? Can you see how they add up to the big ones?
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage at www.franexcell.com
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