Why You Need A Personal Philosophy For Success
Having a personal philosophy is so important when it comes to your success, living a happy life, achieving your goals and all that fun stuff.
WAY more important than you might think.
So why do so few of us have one? Or have one but don’t realise and then they run around being ‘bothered’ by things or people and not really understanding why.
What even IS a personal philosophy?!
Your personal philosophy is basically your own personal guidelines. Life rules you choose to live by.
Your personal philosophy also incorporates your boundaries. The things you’re prepared to put up with, and the things you’re not. This is with other people but ALSO, importantly, with yourself.
Your personal philosophy is also made up of your values. It’s about what is most important to you.
When you’re not aware of what it is you can get yourself in a pickle.
You might say yes to things you don’t want to, or worse, things that you actively know aren’t good for you.
You might make a decision based on someone else’s map of the world rather than your own.
Having, or knowing, your personal philosophy gives you clarity over what you actually want to get out of life.
It’s a commitment you keep to yourself. How you want to show up, who you want to be.
A personal philosophy gives meaning and direction, it’s what you live by, what you stand for.
Hopefully you can see that having something like this in place helps you make plans and set goals, with YOU in mind.
It takes away the unconscious programming that might usually dictate decisions based on what you’ve learned as a child, or from society and replaces them with ones more aligned to you. Without all the layers of other peoples ‘stuff’.
Being aware of them really helps you understand your triggers and where you should limit your time.
I’ll give you a few of mine as examples so you can see how it fits into life and business.
First up, always be curious.
To me this means not just blindly accepting things. Looking for alternative perspectives to get a well rounded view of something. Not just taking something someone says as fact. It’s a little bit ‘take it with a pinch of salt’ a little bit ‘there’s usually 3 versions of a story, one person’s, the other person’s and the truth….which is often somewhere in the middle. Curiosity also means not judging people for their views.
They’re entitled to their view, it may not match mine but they are entitled to it. It comes from their own conditioning. It certainly doesn’t mean I have to be around them. It also doesn’t mean I can’t have a conversation with them about it.
Doesn’t mean I have to agree. It’s a very ‘seek to understand’ kind of vibe and one of the reasons you don’t often hear me giving controversial opinions that are hard and fast and unbending. There are some things I feel that way on of course BUT, Even if it’s staunchly against my values I can see empathy for someone else’s point of view and where it may have come from. Certainly doesn’t mean I have to agree, or be around them. I can share my point of view in the hope it might make them think differently for sure but I can seek to understand even if I don’t agree.
I don’t need to be a part of call out or cancel culture thank you very much.
I can see someone behaving a certain way and think ‘hmm, I wonder what X, Y, Z has triggered in them, I wonder what their ego is saying right now’…without the need to get angry or triggered myself. I can also unfollow and block, hooray! As much as we’d like to, we can’t change other people unless they want change for themselves.
It also means that I don’t judge myself in my business, or in anything else really. As someone who used to beat myself up all the time this is pretty big. I’m always curious as to what might be going on for me. The vast majority of my clients come to me constantly beating themselves up and berating themselves. They’re stuck in the self blame, shame cycle so incorporating curiosity is a game changer.
Strive for continuous self improvement and personal growth.
What this means to me will probably make a lot of sense considering what I do and something I say a lot of the time. Stop striving to be a finished product because there really is no such thing. When you always aim for growth, but without it meaning there is anything ‘wrong’ with you that you need to ‘fix’ Your Life is just ALWAYS going to be improving and getting better.
That’s magical to me! That i’m always going to be better than the day before…even if that’s from a good place to start! I would NOT be where I am not without this philosophy.
I would still be the most negative person in the room. I’d still have no self worth or self esteem. I’d still be spending time with the wrong people hoping to be accepted and always coming up short.
I wouldn’t have this deep level of compassion and acceptance for myself.
I wouldn’t constantly be learning and understanding myself and others more every day.
I wouldn’t know how to navigate what I do now, for myself and for others.
When you aim for growth and improvement from a space of just getting better all the time rather than a judgemental I need fixing or I’m ‘wrong’ place then it’s a lot of fun.
I’m literally NEVER bored.
Next philosophy I have is, there can always be a positive to come from a negative if you choose to look for it.
I know some people struggle with this one but I wholeheartedly believe it and live by it.
It may take a little time to appear but I can always find something positive that wouldn’t have happened without the negative.
I’m grateful for the challenges life throws at me now because of the other philosophies I’ve just given you. I approach it with curiosity over judgement and an opportunity for growth.
And my final one, that is probably the one I talk about the most. And I haven’t found an elegant way to say it yet so i’m just going with it so if you have kiddos around make sure you put me on mute.
My last personal philosophy for you today is simple, don’t be a d*ck.
This goes for me and others. I’m human and sometimes I might feel the tendency to react from ego from time to time. This philosophy helps me in those moments ha! I remind myself that I am not that person and I like to leave people a little better than I found them. Sometimes that’s not possible. But in those times this helps me decide to walk away and remove myself from the situation.
I have a pretty low tolerance for meanness and nastiness and rudeness. I just don’t see a need.
BUT, For the people who are, I don’t judge. It’s coming from their ego and their conditioning so I can find empathy for the inner child that needed that strategy to get by in life. BUT, I don’t need to be around it and I don’t need to react to it.
This isn’t about being the nicest or the kindest, like I say I’m human. It’s about recognising when it could happen and making a better choice.
So those are a few of mine, I’m hoping that my sharing has given you a few nuggets to start you off on figuring out yours, and seeing why it’s important!
I had a lot of fun creating this episode so I hope you enjoyed listening.
So when you’re thinking about your personal philosophy, think about what’s important to you in life?
What is it that you really care about?
What is absolutely non negotiable in your life?
What really gets your goat in other people?
I would actually LOVE you to share yours with me so tag me in on Instagram @imfranexcell or DM me if you want it to be private of course!
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage at www.franexcell.com
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