What does ‘enough’ actually look like for you?
This is so relevant in ALL areas of life but what got me thinking about it specifically was a conversation with a client around the drive for more perpetually leaving you in a state of nothing ever being enough.
One of the messages I’m always trying to break down in the online industry is the whole ‘6 figure business owner’ chat.
The idea that our income is a label.
Of course there are times it might be necessary to talk about it depending on what you’re selling but it’s become this buzzword that runs SO much deeper than that.
Unconsciously the message we’re taking on is that if you’re not making six figures yet, then you’re not good enough.
This idea really drives me bananas. It takes all context out of the equation.
It doesn’t take into account what YOU need, for YOUR life, or what YOUR drivers are for having a business and what YOUR metric or version of success is.
It leaves ALL of that at the door and basically tells you your business isn’t good enough, ergo, YOU’RE not good enough, until you hit that six figure number.
(If you’re in a job you can absolutely relate this to that as well. Your salary being directly correlated to how good enough YOU are.)
But here’s the thing…
What happens when you get there?
You celebrate for all of 5 minutes…and then think ‘but i’m not going to be good enough until I can say MULTI six figures’
Then you hit that, then what?
Beat yourself up until you can say seven figure business owner? Then multi seven?
Where does it stop?
When do you feel ‘good enough’?
When will you actually allow yourself to acknowledge how amazing you are right now? And how amazing you already were?!
This obsession with growth is really toxic. You might want to coast and maintain it once you get to a certain level. Who said there was anything wrong with that?
If your version of success is flexibility and being able to have total control over your schedule, where you are and what you do. That might not fit into someone else’s version of success and where you ‘should’ be.
If someone makes you feel ‘less than’ for where you’re at. Or like you’re not good enough because you’re not at a particular income level or job title…that person is not someone you want to be around.
They aren’t someone you should allow into your energy.
Your income does NOT relate to how good enough YOU are.
Of course there are always blocks to work through to get to where YOU want to be. Of course. That’s why I have a business here right?
BUT, the biggest thing is that your goals are actually YOUR goals. Based on what you want for yourself and how you want your life to look.
NOT where other people tell you you ‘should’ be to be validated as a human being. To feel enough.
Be really consciously aware that these messages are not yours to take on. Understand it’s totally natural that we do, but take a step back and go hang on a minute…do I actually believe that?
Would I want my best friend to believe that?
Would I want my child growing up believing that?
It’s also worth thinking, if your friend had an £80k per year job, or even £95k….would you think they weren’t good enough?
It really is a toxic way to be viewing this. Running a business is the most amazing thing in the world but it also has its moments where it feels super hard. That’s totally natural.
But to take on these ideas and always be needing ‘more’ while feeling not enough is never, ever going to make you happy.
If you have to grow every single time you launch something, or every year you’re setting yourself up to feel not good enough. You’re setting yourself up to feel bad about yourself.
But in that moment, removing all context to the situation. Removing all other factors involved in a launch or a financial year. Looking at everything with emotion and feelings instead of rational, logical thought.
It can cause you to lose sight of the fact that wherever you get to in that launch, or in that year that you’ve achieved amazing things that so many other people wouldn’t back themselves to do.
You’re freaking amazing. Own it!
Whether you’re bringing in an extra £10k per year in a side hustle, £30k per year, £95k or you’re bringing in 8 figures.
Please don’t lose sight of how incredible you are.
Don’t allow your income to be how you validate yourself as a human. Don’t allow your income to dictate how ‘accepted’ or ‘acceptable’ you are as a person.
Trust me, if you’re in a room full of people where you’re only allowed to be there because your audience is a certain size or your income has got to a certain level and if it dipped down you wouldn’t be ‘allowed’ in the gang anymore, that’s not a room you want to be in…please turn around and walk out of that room right now because it’s never going to make you feel good.
There’s so SO much more to you than that.
What is it that YOU want?
How do you want to FEEL?
What is actually ‘enough’ to YOU?
What is actually the most important thing you want this business, job, side hustle to bring into your life?
What does having it GIVE you?
Surround yourself with the people who make you feel more than good enough just as you are. Who will back you and cheer you on for the smallest of wins.
And…Spoiler alert, you’re already enough. You always were!
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time and feel more in control.
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.