Nobody is perfect.
No matter how much they appear to have it together.
Following on from last weeks episode on comparison I think it’s important to highlight this little nugget that on the surface sounds obvious, and yet many of us spend a lot of time looking at other people thinking they have it all together.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the assumption that people, perceived to be at the top of their game, have everything figured out. They don’t. Business coaches hit business snags and blind spots.
Mindset coaches have down days.
Social media experts don’t want to be on social media sometimes.
Productivity experts procrastinate.
Launch coaches have launches that don’t go to plan.
It really doesn’t matter who you are or what your business is, there will be times when you most definitely don’t have it together.
BUT, the magic is in what you learn in the process and how you deal with it.
There are lots of people who look out for those moments of ‘imperfection’ in other people. It says a lot more about them than the person.
You wouldn’t look for it, waiting to jump on it if you were happy with where you are and your own success. It’s why you see so many people trying to tear down competitors and people perceived to be top of their game, or on the rise.
It’s usually all about their own jealousy and insecurity and fear of lack.
It fascinates me, I love geeking out on human behaviour and what makes people do and think the way they do. It’s like looking at life through a different lense.
My ‘curiosity’ lense, or my ‘what’s ACTUALLY going on here’ lense. ha!
Don’t get caught up in striving for perfection because you won’t ever reach it, it doesn’t exist, you’re setting yourself up to fail and feel less than.
Even the mere perception of perfection is a burden.
That constant need to be ‘on’ and not drop the ball.
People appreciate a little more honesty these days!
I’m always saying to clients to treat things as an experiment, or a game, where you know some things are going to work and some aren’t.
But the things that don’t work will give you valuable insights and lessons that you can take moving forwards. And it’s being ok with that.
Failure is the ‘path’ to greatness, not something that takes it away. The most successful people on the planet have been willing to mess things up from time to time.
Look at Elon Musk and his spangly rockets!
Do you have any doubt in your mind that he’ll get to where he wants to?
I don’t! Are there a lot of people revelling in when things don’t work?
Sure! Does he keep going? Yes!
So who does it say more about?!
All the things that don’t go according to plan, or don’t quite work out are all a step in the right direction, whatever that is. It’s progress.
Here’s the thing.
Even if things LOOK ‘perfect’ for someone in one area of their lives, it certainly doesn’t mean it is across the board.
Someone may look like they have a thriving business but do they have a great relationship with their spouse or kids?
It may look like they have it all together but do they go to bed feeling lonely?
Someone may have an incredibly successful business but feel like they can never get off social media.
There are a tonne of potential examples. Is any of that what you want? The bottom line is you don’t know someone’s situation.
So don’t assume you do.
One person’s idea of perfection could be another person’s idea of hell.
There’s no judgement to be made on either. If you want something that someone else has, work out how to get it for yourself BUT in a way that actually works for you.
The difference between you and those ‘perfect’ people is the action you do and don’t take. It’s that simple. If it’s possible for someone else it’s possible for you, but you have to do the work.
Unfortunately it’s a non negotiable. You have to take SOME action! But know what you’re striving for! Make sure you’re able to see the technicolour, not just the black and white.
One of the most important things to remember when you’re on a path of progress, change, personal growth is to be kind to yourself.
You ARE going to make mistakes, you’re human, as is everyone else.
Even when it’s just wanting to be more positive, people can easily assume this is about an absence of negativity.
It’s not. It’s about resilience, learning the lessons you’re supposed to. Working out what you’re negative emotions are telling you when they show up.
It’s about curiosity, knowing you have the option to make a choice.
It’s not about not having negative emotions ever, it’s not possible, we’re human! It’s MANAGING negative emotions and often turning them around to work FOR you.
We try to be ‘perfect’ at positivity! When you actually say it, it’s bonkers right?!
So often clients come to me and they’re beating themselves up because they’ve had a set back, or something has happened that has resulted in a bit of a slump.
They put so much BLAME on themselves and it’s not about that.
It’s about using the awareness, knowing you can choose to change your state, or raise your vibration whenever you choose, but not by pushing the negative emotions away and sugar coating them and pretending they aren’t there. Not about fearing them.
It’s about actually dealing with them.
There is no positive without negative.
No light without dark. No easy without hard.
We all have our dark sides, our shadows, our demons, our worries,our fears, our weaknesses.
We all get things wrong from time to time.
No one is immune to it. It’s humanity and how we’re wired.
At the end of the day, on an intellectual level, we know perfection doesn’t exist, it isn’t reality. People don’t relate to perfection anyway.
So go be yourself, without the comparison or need for ‘perfection’ and remember that we all have our own ‘stuff’ going on. You’ll have a lot more fun that way!
If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Programme and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now!
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.