What are you more committed to, your results, or your excuses?
Some tough love coming your way today for episode 100! YES…episode 100!
A celebration of 100 episodes of me being committed to my results, not my excuses.
Because if i’d listened to those you wouldn’t be listening to me right now.
I wouldn’t have been able to help all of you lovely people.
I also wouldn’t have stuck with it either.
I would have listened to the ‘I’m no good at tech so there’s no way I can produce my own show’.
I would have listened to the ‘there are already so many amazing podcasts with much bigger names who’d want to listen to mine’ or the ‘I don’t have time’ gremlin, the impostor syndrome (all the inevitable mindset gremlins that come along with stepping outside your comfort zone!)
I just would have not started…because I didn’t know where to start!
I made a commitment to myself that it was going to happen.
I knew it was going to be my ‘thing’ and I knew I would love it. BUT, there were some SERIOUS gremlins to get through first. So I put structures in place so I could overcome that (you’ll see why that’s so important shortly!).
I paid for someone else to set up and produce my show for the first few episodes. I did this so I would then be on the hook and HAVE to learn AND I was 100% accountable to someone else to get the content across.
I would have to ‘get over myself’ essentially. Get over my ego, my unconscious thoughts, my limiting beliefs and all that lovely stuff. I started recording them for early access in my group at the same time every week…again, so I was on the hook!
Then once I started getting listeners I was on the hook anyway because people were expecting episodes…and here I am excuse free and 100 episodes later in your earbuds.
The reason I wanted to talk about this specifically in episode 100 is I want to encourage you out from yourself and from your ego by telling you a little of my story.
Out from your excuses, the stories you’re telling yourself, anything that you’re doing (consciously or unconsciously!) in order to hold yourself back from being who you’re meant to be or having what you want.
I’m going to tell you about a little something special to help you on your way in a minute, but first…the tough love. I’m talking to you from a place of SO much love, compassion, understanding and having been there, done it and got the t-shirt myself. Also from a knowing that it’s NOT your ‘fault’ in any way.
There is nothing wrong with you and you are not ‘broken’ and you don’t need to be ‘fixed’.
I just want to make that very clear. This is something that we ALL do at various points in life and especially when we’re trying to achieve something big. I had to confront my own ‘stuff’ multiple times, and still do today and yes, it can be hard and sometimes ugly. You don’t want to see my crying face, let’s put it that way.
But, it’s so so SO worth it.
I want you to know that you are 100% not alone in the thoughts and feelings you have and excuses that you make to help you self sabotage. The ‘I’m not good enoughs,’ the ‘I’m not worthys,’ the imposter syndrome, the ‘I’m not clever enoughs,’ the fear of success, failure, judgement, the way you’re talking to yourself in your head and making it all about your identity, about who you are as a person.
What you’re telling yourself you are and aren’t capable of. I want you to know I’ve been there. As have most other people in this game. It’s good timing to be episode 100, I want you to go into the new year knowing exactly how much control and power you have over your own results.
I want you to take that power back, to take that control back from your emotions attached to these thoughts, feelings, beliefs and excuses.
So you control them instead of the other way around. Because it’s all yours for the taking. As is everything you want to achieve.
This is not from a ‘woo woo wishy washy’ place …it’s from a genuine ‘you have the freaking power to do whatever you want and you just need to KNOW it’ kind of place. You know it in your bones already to be true. That’s why we get so angry and frustrated at ourselves.
Because we know that we’re the only ones standing in our own way and our excuses are just something we use to temporarily make ourselves feel better about not taking action, but it doesn’t get us anywhere.
It’s nice and comfortable having excuses and blaming people and things outside of yourself for where you are so of course your brain is going to 100% support you in the endeavour to self sabotage. But, you really are 100% capable of doing anything you want to do.
I don’t say that lightly, it’s not a positive mental ‘you can do it’ kind of thing…I KNOW it to be true. From YEARS and almost 6 figures invested in my education in this space, thousands of hours spent reading or in the classroom and from my own life experiences…I’ve done the hard leg work to work this stuff out.
Here’s the thing. You have to overcome your unconscious programming and your ego or you WILL stay stuck. However you do it, whether you work it out consciously or it just somehow happens it still needs to be done.
In the words of Carl Jung, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
I recently did a post over on my Instagram (@imfranexcell) showing people my first business. My handmade jewellery business, Francesca Grace.
I’m very grateful for the experience now, and hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you because it just doesn’t have to! Did I fail? No.
Did it feel like it at the time? Ohhh Yes! Did I make excuses, procrastinate, play the victim, stay stuck in ‘I’m not good enough’, look for reasons to quit and then actually do it? YES!
Is the responsibility entirely on me? YES!!
Now, you can look at that and think it’s a negative but it’s actually incredibly empowering. Unlike allowing blame, victimhood and my emotions to dominate which completely takes the power away from myself.
I LOVED making my jewellery, I trained in silversmithing in Hatton Gardens, I really freaking LOVED it! It was my happy place, my flow where time stopped, people were coming to me to buy without me even needing to ‘sell’…all I’d need to do is wear my own pieces or post pictures on Facebook! Sounds great right? So what happened?
I let my circumstances dictate my results.
I actively stopped myself putting effort into selling …I mean…crazy how we do that?! I certainly didn’t listen to my gut on MULTIPLE occasions. I was run by fear.
I started taking commissions instead of selling what I had already created, I was trying to please everyone and fit what individual people wanted and it took away my joy and flow and turned it into stress, fear & a serious ‘lack’ mentality.
I didn’t listen to how I wanted to run my business and went with what I felt I HAD to do just to make money as all of a sudden it was our only source of income.
Granted there was a LOT going on at this time so I could be forgiven for making a few excuses here and there…I’d had a car crash where I flipped and rolled my car (very scary, I don’t recommend it!), a knee operation which didn’t go well and we moved in with my mother in law after a bit of a catastrophic time where we lost our home and business.
There was much hermitting to be done! But, I absolutely played the victim.
It kept me weirdly happy at the time, I got sympathy and understanding and felt oddly safe in my misery. I made alllll the excuses in my business, did all the busy tasks, didn’t do the things that I knew would really make it a success and when a close friend said ‘Fran, I really think you should just get a proper job’ I was devastated…and I listened! What was really going on was a huge amount of unconscious ‘not good enough’ beliefs.
I was letting my unconscious run the show for me and take all the behaviours that would keep me ‘safe’ and ‘average’ and NONE of the action that would get me exactly where I wanted to be.
I was also allowing other people’s unconscious beliefs and programming to dictate my own behaviour. Like the friend who talked about a ‘proper’ job…PAH! You enjoy your income ceiling thank you very much, ha! . Jewellery is a competitive industry & I didn’t have any support, anyone to turn to, anyone to ask questions or bounce ideas off or just to tell me I was doing ok and to keep going.
I felt totally on my own. Just me, my negative thoughts and my excuses ha! It was a fun time!;-) We all do this at various points in our business but it’s all about the structures you put in place to get through the inevitable wobbles.
I didn’t have any of that. And I didn’t know then what I know now! I’m incredibly grateful for all the lessons because it’s led me to where I am now and they were all GREAT lessons! Sometimes on the way to the dream you get lost and find a better one. Was it a failure? Absolutely not. Did I quit? Absolutely yes. You can see why it’s so important to get over yourself!
I felt it’s important that I share this as it’s the same thing, the same inevitable mindset gremlins I see clients struggle with. You can learn from my mistakes without having to make them yourself.
Especially this time of year when people really do struggle mindset gremlin wise. We look over our year and forget all the amazing things we’ve achieved and focus on what we haven’t. We’re tired and impatient and comparing ourselves to other people. It’s a common time of year for people to feel like quitting.
So how do we make sure this doesn’t happen to you? . You put structures and habits in place to ensure your success and that you don’t let anything stop you that really doesn’t have to! You get committed to your results and choose to not listen to your own excuses! You do what it takes…and then reap the benefits.
What happens if you don’t overcome the gremlins moving forwards?
What are the consequences for you and those you love?
So here’s a few things you can do to make sure you’re getting your unconscious mind to work FOR you, not against you. And how you can make sure you’re the one in control!
Guess what, some of these are really not going to be a surprise as I talk about them ALL the time…wonder why that is hmmmm ha!
One of my faves and an AMAZING way to counteract overthinking, anxiety, stress, helps you sleep better, increase problem solving, memory, help you be more mindful and self aware, helps with focus and attention, increased feelings of compassion to yourself and others, helps to rewire your brain for the future you want, not to mention all the spiritual goodness that comes with it regardless of what you believe ha…do you need more??
Head back to my episode HERE on my exact process for Journaling for the non dear diary type.
This literally changed my life in 5 minutes per day through using positive psychology interventions and neuroplasticity.
Our conscious mind can only take in so much but our unconscious takes in everything. Subliminal messages are just below the threshold to be consciously noticed. We’ve heard how these messages work and they often can be perceived as negative, for example when used by advertisers.
HOWEVER, what if YOU decided what messages you wanted to feed your subconscious mind? What if they were programming you for what you want while you’re doing things you do every day?! Ooooooh!
There is a huge amount of scientific backing for subliminal messaging but one of the prerequisites is you must want the behaviour for it to work.
There is a VERY cool tool that I use called Subliminal power that does just that, while you’re using your computer. Check it out through my affiliate link HERE.
Whether it’s confidence, abundance, leadership, whatever you feel you want more of you can have it playing in the background while you work. It’s very freaking cool!
Again, working with the unconscious mind to change the habitual thoughts and beliefs.
People use hypnosis for ALL sorts. Changing beliefs, curing phobias, weight loss. They’re incredibly effective modalities. As an NLP practitioner one of my favourite things to do is set up anchors for clients so they can access any state they want whenever they need to. Confidence or calm are popular!
I listen to hypnosis audios before going to sleep every night because it’s the best time to feed your subconscious mind messages you want it to work on overnight.
I’m developing my own set of hypnosis audios and meditations very soon so keep your eyes peeled.
Whether it’s affirmations, reminders of how you want to show up.
Your ‘power word’ or whatever floats your boat. Anything that is going to shift your brain into gear and direct your thoughts to where you want them to be.
After all, thoughts become your feelings and emotions, which affect the actions you do and don’t take, which affects the results you get and then reinforces your original thought as a belief.
It’s the process of manifestation in simple terms. And also explains self-fulfilling prophecies.
One of my favourite tools because the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and imagined so you’re essentially creating ‘future memories’ to prime your brain for getting what you want.
You can read more HERE from a previous episode. Start to ask yourself better questions to make the unconscious conscious so you can then challenge it and change it.
Work with someone who can pick out your unconscious behaviour and challenge those unconscious beliefs! You don’t have to make it so hard OR take so long.
Now for the thing that I mentioned I had up my sleeve that can help you on your way.
In celebration of 100 episodes (!) of showing up for you guys, and myself, I’m going to do something I’ve not done before on the podcast and will only do for this week! I’m going to offer out my ‘power hours’ which are usually reserved for previous clients.
How these work is you come to me with ONE specific mindset or productivity problem that you know is getting in your way and you want to solve going into 2020. (You’ll get a quick questionnaire beforehand and the one you choose to work on is often not the real issue so don’t worry, we’ll work that out!) I will teach you some key strategies to get through it, to think differently, to be able to make different choices, to create much needed headspace AND even give you time back in your day so you’re not always feeling stuck in overwhelm and procrastination, feeling like you don’t have time for the people you love. This will set you up to start 2020 with clarity and focus.Whoop!
I have been doing these power hours in the background and they have been reserved exclusively for certain amazing business coaches VIP clients and my goodness they’ve been amazing, and getting amazing results so I’m SO excited to be able to offer them at this price as I know 1:1 coaching can feel inaccessible to lots of people…plus you can ask for it as a Christmas present too ha! Here’s what a couple of awesome power hour clients have said:
“I had a one off one hour session with Fran. I thought we were going to work on my money mindset, turns out that is absolutely fine but my limiting beliefs were elsewhere! Fran is an amazing intuitive who can quickly work out exactly what the problem is and what needs to be worked on. She offered so much amazing advice and I left the one hour session buzzing with lots of incredible ideas. It was such an extraordinary and beneficial hour that has really helped me and my business. I would not hesitate to recommend her to other people and I look forward to working with her again in the future! Thank you Fran. X” Vic Wood, Greenerbeauty.com “I had a session with Fran as I was struggling in business and my coach felt it was due to a mindset issue. Convinced that all the work I was doing on money mindset wasn’t getting me far, I just couldn’t work out what was stopping me moving forward in my business. Fran was amazing, asking the right questions to help me uncover the real reason I was self sabotaging and it wasn’t the money as I thought. But more I had been suppressing the real me for so long. Fran encouraged me to take action, baby steps to start and helped me to rediscover a part of me I had buried. I am so much happier in my life now and I know this will pay off for my business. I can’t wait to see what the future holds. I am extremely grateful to Fran for helping me step out of the comfort zone and back into my zone of genius and go for what I want from life. I would recommend a session with Fran to anyone who lives frustrated unable to see what is causing you to move from where you are to where you want to be and I hope to work with Fran in again in the Future.”
|Jenni Bush – Marketing & Media THE EQUINE BUSINESS ASSISTANT|
Last one, “I am so grateful for the one hour call I had with Fran. It gave me so much clarity where I was feeling very stuck. I am a practitioner in EFT, Matrix Reimprinting and a Transformational Coach, so I know a bit about mindset. However, like everyone, I need someone to help me find my own blindspots and Fran is great at that! She quickly found that I was doing things not aligned to my values and asked all the right questions for me to move forward. That call took me from a place of uncertainty and anxiety to a place of relief, excitement and drive! I am so grateful for my newfound direction. Thank you Fran!” Zainab Mohiuddin
I LOVE IT! So excited to offer these in such a big episode …both number and topic wise.
The bottom line is, it’s time to stop listening to your excuses.
You have to essentially ‘get over yourself’! Get over your ego, your beliefs about yourself, your unconscious programming. You can have all the strategy you want but without this piece of the puzzle you’re very unlikely to take any of the action.
Where are you going to be this time next year if you don’t take a chance on yourself? You do NOT have to repeat the same year again!
It doesn’t matter what level of business you’re at this stuff will come up at some point…new level, new devil! I 100% believe in you. It doesn’t matter who you are, where your from and what your programming is, you can change it and start getting your brain to work with you instead of against you.
So, the question remains. What are you more committed to? Your results or your excuses? 😉
If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Programme and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now!
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.