Is it time to look at goals a little differently?
I personally think so.
I know January is always the month we talk about goals and resolutions…hopefully by now you know my opinion on resolutions.
Goals are a little different.
I also did an episode a while ago about how to set goals that actually work for you, because I honestly think there’s more than one way to, for want of a better phrase, skin a cat.
There are some fundamentals that are always going to make them easier to actually achieve but I really do believe that it needs to work for you.
So I thought I’d give you a few hints and tell you some of the things I do that work for me. Remember you’re not me, figure out what works for you. But i’m telling you in case this helps, make sense?
First and foremost make sure you’re not shaming yourself into your goals. So unbelievably important. Don’t come at them from a place of desperation or feeling not good enough, you’ll just take action from that energy and you’ll get yourself in a pickle.
Of course a lot of our goals might come from that place because it’s often about things we want to change in our lives. But what if we reframed that to simply ‘adding to’ our lives. So if you want to lose 2.5 stone, instead of feeling not good enough until you hit it, how about you focus on what it brings into your life. Potentially more health, more energy, what does it actually add to your life.
Second, make sure they’re actually realistic. If it’s not, you’re just going to self sabotage in more ways than you can count! You’ll unconsciously think, ‘what’s the point’ and not take ANY action at all. When, if you’d just broken it down a bit you’d see how to hit each level and work your way towards it and be able to take so much more gratification in all the little wins along the way.
I’m a big fan of shoot for the moon and even if you’ll miss you’ll land among the stars. BUT, this only works if you’re going to recognise how much further you were towards it than if you hadn’t set the goal and still celebrate it. It simply doesn’t work if you set this goal and then beat yourself up if you don’t achieve it.
All or nothing mentality is dangerous when you’re trying to work towards what you want. It’s really not helpful in my opinion. There are soooo many other factors and steps towards getting where you want to be. When you can be happy with each incremental step along the way you’ll find you get there so much quicker.
As an example, if you want those £10k months and you’re at nothing, how are you going to get the first £250, then £500, then £1000 etc etc. You see what I mean? You might miss opportunities that cause you to leave money on the table because they aren’t ‘good enough’ but would all add up with the compound effect.
Make sure you’re actually tracking them and measuring them regularly. Checking in with them. Reminding yourself of them consciously so your brain is always working alongside you to actually make them happen. Filtering out the right opportunities, information and evidence.
SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound.
But I really feel like we need to allow for some behavioral flexibility. Allowing ourselves to revisit and readjust based on feedback and circumstances.
Sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know and you might think a particular goal will be super easy and it’s not until you get into it that you realise, perhaps it needs to be adjusted to be more realistic.
Make sure you can enjoy the journey to getting there. Really what’s the point if you don’t!?
Don’t try to do too big of a leap, your brain will just work against you. As an example if you’re trying to go from zero straight to £10k months a number of things may happen.
You might get sent ALL the thoughts from your nervous system telling you all the many reasons you’re mad and there’s no way you can do that and who do you think you are, etc etc.
But you also are likely to beat yourself up and ignore any wins on the way to that goal. Meaning, anything less than that goal is not good enough. Meaning, it’s 10x harder to actually hit because you’re beating yourself up the whole way.
I’m an avid user of the notes in my phone for things like goals. I have a note for 2022 goals, things across life that I really want to achieve in 2022.
Then I split out the key life categories and have goals under each heading with the little tick box, so when I achieve one I get that lovely little boost of dopamine when I tick it off.
I go in and visit those once per week at least.
I also have a rolling ‘things I want’ list too that I get to tick off as I go. That’s more material things that I want. I often will use them as rewards for achieving something else I have as a goal(another excellent way to manifest through your goals, it’s like a double whammy AND gives you a fire in your belly to hit the goal because you want the thing right…boom!)
You might be a vision board type of person, you might be a write it down in a journal kind of person, you might be a notes person or a list person…figure out what you’re going to constantly look at.
Don’t just write them out once and think they’re magically going to happen.
You need to see them, revisit them, constantly. It’s amazing what happens when you do.
It’s all the little micro behaviors that those little reminders cause. The new ways of thinking that it brings too.
We over complicate achieving what we want and we often come at it with an unhelpful energy and just a few little shifts here and there can kick self sabotage to the curb, give you renewed motivation and help you prioritise. Delightful.
So. I hope this is a little food for thought early enough in the year for you to course correct if you’re already starting to notice that little voice starting to beat you up in your own head.
Make sure you tune in next Monday because I have a VERY exciting announcement to make on a goal I’ve had for YEARS.
It’s something I’ve wanted for SO long and it’s finally, very nearly here and I’m so so excited to share it with you so make sure you don’t miss that.
Any questions as always head over to Instagram and slide into those DMs @imfranexcell
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time and feel more in control.
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