Is the perseverance worth it?
Is that feeling of trundling through, wading through treacle to get to what you think you want, or what you used to want…is that still the right thing for you?
Sometimes we find ourselves keeping on keeping on in situations that actually might not be right for us.
We may feel tired, anxious, low, beaten down, but we still keep going.
It’s so easy to just keep going with something and try to just ignore any negative feelings you might be having.
And also, not taking a deep dive into what they might REALLY mean.
This is one of the many, many reasons why self awareness is so important and building that neural pathway where you question your thoughts, beliefs, behaviours and why you might be doing something.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s wrong for you. But it might be a clear indicator that something needs addressing.
We do this in all areas of life, our careers, relationships, friendships, our businesses, where we’re living etc.
We often just keep going instead of analysing if something is REALLY working for us
It can feel like flogging a dead horse sometimes, but often even that isn’t enough to get you to really look at it.
You might be still following a path in your business that someone else told you was the right thing.
You might be in a relationship and you’ve noticed you’re unhappy more than you’re happy.
You might be in a career and your feelings and values have shifted and it doesn’t align for you anymore.
This is the thing with being human and growth being a part of that It means we’re constantly growing and evolving and we change.
Our outlook changes
Our perspective changes.
Our views on what we think is right and wrong shifts.
Our needs shift.
Our attitudes shift and what we find important.
It’s totally normal to feel like things are ‘off’ sometimes when you take all of this into account.
Society praises longevity a lot of the time which keeps people moving in a direction that’s not right for them anymore.
Longevity has absolutely nothing to do with happiness and it’s a really important distinction to make.
The real flex is being able to say ‘this isn’t what I want anymore’ and then doing something about it.
That’s the brave part!
That’s when you’ll inspire other people.
Not sticking at something when you’re not happy.
Being able to ask yourself, am I staying in this situation or on this path because I think I SHOULD? What or who is making me feel that way?
You know the saying, change only happens when the pain of staying where you are outweighs the pain of the change itself.
And it’s so true. We often have to reach that point where it’s almost unbearable to stay where we’re at.
It’s only then that we start going, hang on what the fudge is going on here?!
And then the question quickly turns to ‘and what can I do about it?’
So how do we get there WITHOUT having to reach that point?
It all comes back to asking yourself great questions.
Which is a skill, and one you can quickly develop, this is where journaling is so helpful. Along with working with someone like a coach, therapist or counseller where they can help you fast track the process.
The better questions you learn to ask yourself the more you’ll be able to identify if sticking with something and persevering is worth it for you in the long run.
You’ll be able to identify if it’s the right thing for you but it’s just going to take some time vs not moving on due to sunk cost fallacy (scroll down for the episode I did specifically on that!)
So here’s a few questions for you to journal and/or ponder on to get those cogs ticking.
Feel free to do this for each of the key areas of your life, Work, relationships, friendships etc.
Are you happy now where you’re at?
Can you see yourself being happy in the future following the same path?
Does it still excite you?
What’s right about the situation? What IS working for you and why?
What’s wrong about the situation? What really isn’t working for you and why? How would the alternative feel?
How do you feel about not being in the situation?
What are the potential positive possibilities if you take a different path?
What are the stories about what is negative about not continuing down this path? As in what are you making it mean about yourself? What are you making it mean for other people? What are you making it mean in the context of society?
What are the feelings you have when you think of staying on this path? Notice how it feels in your body and where you feel it. Can you name it?
What are the feelings you have when you think about NOT staying in this situation?
When I imagine myself 1 year, or 5 years into the future staying on this path, how am I feeling? Am I happy?
Then the big question…What can I do about it? What do I want to do about it? What WILL I do about it?
Then future pace that too. How do you feel?
Life is always leaving us clues but we need to ask ourselves better questions, dig a little deeper and discover the truth beyond our conditioning.
A whole world of magic lives there.
And I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it’s always pretty on the way, it’s not.
But the question is, is it worth it?
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners & Executives Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time, get off the emotional rollercoaster and feel more in control.
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.