How can I change my money mindset? It’s something I’m asked ALL the time by clients.
I’m also always asking for the kinds of episodes you’d like to hear and one request made me realise…it’s been a LONG time since I did an episode around money mindset.
If you scroll down the episode list you’ll find ‘how to charge your worth’ which is a really good insight BUT I thought i’d do a fresh little update on the subject as it’s something that comes up with all my clients at some point.
Everything that I’m always talking about around self sabotage applies to money too.
We have to make the unconscious conscious, and start to do things differently.
Give yourself ‘disconfirming experiences’ in order to make real changes.
Experiences that prove the opposite of your current beliefs.
We also need to be able to recognise when we’re running an unconscious programme and bring it into our conscious awareness and allow the CEO of our brain, the prefrontal cortex to help you make some better decisions.
So how do we start to do that?!
With the first stage of my NICER framework that I run everything through.
We have to NOTICE we might be running an unconscious programme.
We do this by being intentional and curious and asking ourselves some really good questions.
So when it comes to money what are your common thoughts and behaviours?
How are you with spending money?
You might be great at spending it on things you don’t need?
How are you with receiving it from others? Do you allow people to buy you things or get awkward, say no, or ‘get the next round’.
How are you with spending it on yourself? I don’t mean buying material things with this one, I mean interesting in your own development in some way. Something that will improve you or your life?
You may already be unearthing some things as we go along here.
Identifying the pattern itself is super important, but we need to start going a little deeper.
For example, in my glorious listeners question, it was specifically about how to stop associating an increase in money (as in, more clients) with having LESS time.
So firstly here you can see the story. The unconscious story is that having more in one area means having less in another.
So to start unpicking this we need to have a little time walk back to before we were about 8 years old and ask ourselves a few questions.
What did I see growing up?
So here you want to think about things like, did your parents struggle to make ends meet? Did they work super hard and not be available to you? Did promotions mean ‘less’ of them for you?
What did I hear growing up?
What common phrases were said in your family? Money doesn’t grow on trees is a common one. Or you have to work hard for money.
What did I model?
Were there any instances of a big loss, or being secretive around money?
There’s tonnes of different things that can show up here. And we need to be clear, they aren’t ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’, and there is no ‘blame or ‘shame’ or judgement that should be going on here.
Understand everyone is doing their best with the resources they have, based on their own conditioning. Some of this stuff is GENERATIONS old.
But you get to break that cycle by making the unconscious conscious.
Once it’s conscious, you get the conscious choice to challenge it and change it.
We can’t expect to get different results by thinking and doing the same things so we have to seek out a new lens to look through.
It can feel hard to do that by yourself at first but you can either get help with it by going through it with someone else. Or you can allow yourself to sit with it and seek different answers.
So how could having more money and clients NOT mean you’ll have less time and head for impending burnout?
I’m going to let you sit with that for just a moment then share where I would go with it.
Got a few ideas?
And what’s one more thing you could do?
Letting you sit with it again.
So…for me, more monies means more ability to outsource. Which means MORE time.
It’s about being able to catch yourself in an unconscious story and starting to challenge it.
Thinking this way helps you set your goals too. We can so often look at something and not plan for it because we think it’s out of reach. For other people, not for you.
But you get to change that narrative.
Just because it’s not something you’ve had before does not mean it’s not for you.
An example in my life is having gardeners an hour per week. It’s a major luxury BUT it’s also a lifesaver.
I don’t have the time, nor do I want to, mow the lawn. But I like it and appreciate it being done. So why not pay someone who loves doing it to do it?
Paying the extra to have your food delivered instead of having to go get it is another one.
Funnily enough, it’s actually saved us time AND money now.
We have organic veg delivered once per week on a subscription. We get pipers farm organic meat boxes and then just the essentials like cleaning stuff and dry goods from the supermarket. You’d think that would cost more but it’s inadvertently saved loads AND created time.
There’s so much in life you can outsource and create time when you think outside of what you normally do, or what your family has ‘always’ done.
Money allows you to do that.
There is ALWAYS another way to look at something, you don’t have to accept your first thought as fact. They’re usually not!
Time and money are precious commodities. Often our relationship with both will have some big similarities.
Spending on things you don’t need when you’re tight on cash could look like scrolling social media when you have a big presentation to make.
Hoarding money could show up as telling yourself you don’t have time when if you were to step back you’d see all the ways you could use time more efficiently.
It’s amazing what goes on in our noggins seemingly without our conscious knowledge.
Grab your journal and go a little deeper on some of the questions I’ve asked and see if something pops up for you that makes total sense in terms of your behaviour…and see how far you can chanllenge it.
A scarecity mindset shows up in more ways than just money.
Time, resources. If you’re operating from that place right now then do the work to shift that around. It’s more important than you think.
It will affect your behaviour and your progress. BUT, it’s something that CAN be changed!
What do you value more, your time or money?
What would you do if you had more of either?
Whatever that thing that just popped into your head was…is possible for you!
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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