It’s easy to see that 2020 has been a year of ALL THE THINGS!
It’s given us an opportunity to really hone in on what we want as i’ve mentioned in a couple of other episodes recently.
So I wanted to take that a little bit further today.
I want to talk about the concept of things feeling heavy or light.
Essentially feeling good to you or feeling bad.
Positive or negative.
But it’s tuning in to that physiological feeling of ‘heaviness’. Really being able to notice that it’s there in the first place.
We are so ingrained in our habits that often we don’t even recognise that we feel ‘bad’ or ‘heavy’because it’s so normal to us.
This can be physically, emotionally or mentally.
In society today it’s pretty normal to feel rubbish!
We often don’t know any better.
And because we don’t know any better, we don’t know that we can do something about it.
We cling on to those stories that life and business has to be a certain way and it’s just not based in the truth.
You can see the evidence of this in lots of different places if you look.
When you make a big life change, like a diet or exercise change and it’s as if you have NO idea that you could feel so good.
Have more energy, sleep better, feel more happy.
We just think we’re always supposed to feel how we do.
You see the same when you finally let go of something, like a toxic relationship. Or a friendship that’s been dragging you back.
It’s as if a weight lifts off your shoulders.
Even that phrase shows the physiological change of an emotional release.
BUT, there’s another side to this that you can use to your advantage.
There’s the physiological differences of a change but what if you could tune into that for your business, your relationship, any area of your life?
If it’s something you’ve been unaware of then it’s likely that making it conscious means you can change it right?
But you’ve got to do my favourite thing and get curious and learn to listen to your body and remember that the mind and body are a linked system.
Tune in to what it’s telling you…or screaming at you!
Imagine what could change if you made a commitment to only do the things that felt light?!
There are always going to be necessary things that need to be done in your business…but do they have to be done by you necessarily?
Social media for me over the last few months has felt really heavy to me so i’ve limited my time on it.
Most social media gurus would say that’s a BIG no no (I mean i’ve been in the Insta DMs and stories because i’ve still been enjoying that, but limiting what I consume big time!) but i’ve actually had the highest number of 1:1 enquiries in my business…go figure!
Sooooooo many clients come to me with a heavy feeling in their business.
This can be linked to so many different things BUT being able to tune into it and get curious is a game changer to make sure it changes.
When something feels heavy there’s a reason.
It might be that you’re doing something or trying to follow something that’s out of line with your values, your unconscious identity, your beliefs, what you actually want to do.
Essentially it’s out of alignment for you and that’s not to be ignored.
If you ignore it all that will happen is you will feel bad and heavy and you’re hiiiiiiighly likely to self sabotage.
So it’s time to tune in to your body and your mind about what feels heavy and why so you can make the choice to change it.
So what is that for you?
What makes you feel like you’re having to drag yourself kicking and screaming through the process?
What are you procrastinating over?
Start to notice points in the day where you feel heavy. And I don’t mean heavy as in you’ve had a whole pizza to yourself for lunch…not judging!
I mean that emotional heaviness that you feel in your body.
Usually your stomach/gut or chest area. It could be in your throat.
There’s no right or wrong over where you feel it. But it will tell you something and enable you to change it.
On the flip side, what makes you feel light? Full of energy? Joyous?
Make sure you’re doing more of that…it’s likely to be your zone of genius!
When you’ve created some awareness around what might be going on for you you can decide what action to take.
Tune in throughout the day and notice what’s going on for you and when.
You can do it when you’re meditating if you like, that’s super effective.
To add to that once you identify something and you don’t want to feel that way you can dig deep by really understanding what’s going on and try to break that emotional connection to it and change your experience so that emotion is not going to drive your behaviour anymore.
What do I mean?
One of my favourite NLP techniques uses what’s called sub modalities.
Sub modalities are essentially the building blocks of our experiences. It’s how the brain codes and gives meanings to those experiences.
An example is when you think about someone you don’t like, vs someone you do like.
You will of course have different thoughts, but you’ll also have a different feeling in the body. You may get visual, auditory or kinesthetic (feeling) cues.
You’ll tend to get an image, perhaps sound and a feeling.
Each modality (Visual, auditory, kinesthetic) has sub modalities.
So some visual submodalities would be black and white or colour, brightness, focus.
Now, here’s where it gets cool…you can change those sub modalities and change the way you experience that experience.
My favourite is what’s called a sub modality map across, where you elicit submodalities of a state you don’t want to feel and one that you do and map across the good onto the bad, but I can’t take you through that here but I can try to give you a little idea.
These are going to sound like bonkers questions but when you close your eyes (please don’t do this while driving, holding children or operating machinery and whatnot!) and can elicit the submodalities of something you’ve experienced or are experiencing, you can change it.
So for example, if you were to think about the feeling of not liking someone where do you feel it in your body? Does it have a shape? Is it hot or cold? Does it have a pressure? A texture? A colour? Is it moving or still?
If you get a black ball that’s spinning in your gut, for example. What happens if you make it stop moving or spin it the other way? Can you change its colour from black to a ball of yellow light? Can you expand that light to fill your whole body?
How does it feel now?
Another thing to understand is your gut is lined with neurons that talk directly to the brain. They are connected.
One affects the other. So you can lean into that and start to notice when you get a gut feeling about something.
What’s it telling you?
Do you need a course correct? Are you going down a path that’s not right for you?
They are always talking to each other. The gut talks to the brains in mere seconds.
The more we can learn to listen to our body and the more awareness we can create, the better.
You’ll start to pull towards the things that make you feel good and be able to actually understand what’s bad for you, instead of just accepting it as normal.
But the key is starting to notice it so you can take it from the unconscious into the conscious and you can change it.
The bottom line is. If something doesn’t feel good to you, you have the power to change it. You can break that emotional connection.
So what feels heavy and what feels light for you?
P.S – Last question…Are you sick of self sabotaging and procrastinating on getting your business going? Would you like to learn some practical strategies to stop you procrastinating WHEN it happens so you can FINALLY get the things you NEED to do DONE? Download my FREE guide below and I’ll show you 5 simple strategies to stop procrastination in its tracks!
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Fran Excell, Mindset & Productivity Coach – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.