Where are you telling yourself you can’t have, do or be something when the reality is you won’t or don’t want to?
Oof…if this title hit you between the eyes then listen up!
This is going to be a little tough love, WITH love episode.
I have been JUST as guilty of this in the past, and still today…but now I have the consciousness and curiosity to know the difference between the two.
So, let’s dig into this a little bit deeper shall we?
The ‘I can’t’ gremlin is a loud one. I see it rearing its ugly head all the time. Usually when you think about something you want to launch.
Or when you’re offered a new opportunity that could make you visible.
The bottom line is, you really CAN do anything you put your mind to. You’ll know I’m a believer of that if you’ve been listening for any amount of time.
I don’t believe it, I know it to be true. I’m surrounded all the time by people doing what they never thought possible and I feel HUGELY privileged to witness it and often play a little part in making it happen.
Nothing brings me more joy.
But how do we start to get YOU on that path, to KNOWING anything is possible for you.
As always, it starts with the awareness piece.
Where are you telling yourself you can’t do something? I previously did an episode on this that will help you start to identify it.
Even when we look at the word ‘can’t’ in the context of not having the knowledge or skills yet…it’s still not true.
You can’t YET, but you still can if you find the knowledge or the skill.
Whereas ‘won’t’ is you don’t want to do it. This could be based around your values and morals. This could also be based around laziness. It could also be based around fear.
The word can’t…what does it make you feel?
Stress? Shame? Guilt? All of the above?
And what does the word won’t make you feel?
Slightly more in control? A bit sticky because you have to own it? More empowered?
But isn’t it the truth really?
You’re making a choice.
That choice will be based on a TONNE of unconscious programming so it’s absolutely not your FAULT.
BUT, you do get to choose to look at it dead in the face and challenge it!
It’s a shift of power.
Amazing what a little language tweak can do huh!
You’ve always got to go a few layers deeper than the surface of what you’re telling yourself.
Behind the can’t, is the won’t…what’s underneath the won’t?
Is it ‘unsafe’ to take action? Are you fearing judgement? Are you fearing failure? Do you actually just not want to do it?
We need to get your actions to match up to what you want for your life.
Is it possible that underneath what you consciously think you want, that you don’t really?
This business owner malarky is one hell of a journey of self discovery.
But it’s so worth it.
When you know yourself on this kind of deeper level a whole world of opportunity opens up.
You’re more honest with yourself.
You don’t have the same doubts.
Your inner self talk is FAR kinder.
You won’t continue to buy into your own excuses.
Your own growth will be exponential!
Remember, when you’ve told yourself the same thing over and over, you’re going to believe it more and more. Your brain is going to filter out more evidence that it’s true, and ignore the evidence that it may not be.
When you can get to the core truth of the ‘I can’t’ you can make decisions. Based on that truth. Not the rubbish your ego has been telling you.
Do you see how there could be a monumental shift in how you see yourself when you think this way?
When you question your own motives with curiosity…remember no need to be judgy! It will have served a purpose many times over. You get to decide if it still does.
So when you catch yourself telling yourself you can’t do something because you don’t have the time, or the money, or you feel you’re not good enough, that’s for other people not for me…
When you catch yourself there. Ask yourself if it’s really true. Say the word won’t and see if it feels more true…a vast majority of the time it will.
You’ll feel it’s truth in your body.
Yes it can feel difficult sometimes to acknowledge you’ve been getting in your way with this one word. But you get to take responsibility.
You get to be excited because you now know that it’s not true!
How amazing is that!
Everything is open! Everything is more honest!
The power that gives you is immense.
Please don’t sell yourself short. If it’s possible for someone else it’s possible for you!
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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