What do you really need right now?
This is going to be super relevant for everything that’s going on right now, by that I mean lockdown in the UK specifically STARTING to ease.
We have a few more options becoming available to us.
A little more choice back in our lives.
BUT, this question is close to my heart. It’s something I use all the time myself and with clients so I invite you to think about it in the context of right now, but to use it whenever you need to.
Anytime you’re feeling anxious, stressed, having a wobble.
In a bit of a funk you can’t seem to shake.
Feeling overwhelmed or out of control.
I find it helpful in any of those situations so I hope you do too.
So what do you need right now?
We don’t often ask ourselves this do we?
We don’t tend to tune in on what NEED, emotional or physiological, is under our feelings that’s not being met.
We don’t tend to connect to this on a day to day basis, if ever.
Why would we, we’re running off autopilot most of the time, it’s how we’re wired.
So our communication with ourselves can sometimes fall a little…flat!
So I invite you to tune in just a little bit and ask yourself what you need right now?
I’ve been talking to so many people recently, clients, friends, my community on Instagram, who are actually feeling pretty anxious about coming out of lockdown.
They aren’t ready, or don’t want, things to go back to how they were.
Or perhaps they don’t want them to be different!
It’s very individual.
We might be feeling the pressure of not quite being where we wanted to be with the time we were ‘given’. Perhaps feeling like we didn’t use it to its full advantage.
Forgetting the fact it’s a GLOBAL PANDEMIC and all rules for what we get done in what time frame kind of leave the building.
We create these stories around what we ‘should’ be doing. What’s good enough and what’s not.
But according to whom?
Who says we should have launched a business, mastered banana bread, learned jiu jitsu, piano and the russian language in this time?
There are many people looking forward to getting back to some semblance of normality, whatever that was!
But there seem to be the same number, if not more people who DON’T want that.
Who have enjoyed being at home.
Who have enjoyed a different pace.
Whose inner introvert has been having its own pajama party.
The people pleasers who have been free from obligation.
The perfectionists who have been able to let themselves off the hook a little bit.
The people who struggle with family who’ve not had to see them.
The people with the toxic friend they just can’t say no to.
There are alot of people just simply not wanting to fill up their diaries again!
Not wanting to feel like they ‘should’ or ‘have to’ make plans.
There is no right or wrong way to feel. There’s just how you feel!
You get to be curious about that and if it makes total valid sense, or if there’s another perspective that would be helpful and more beneficial to you, if there’s any self sabotage going on. But it’s for you to challenge. Not other people.
That’s not helpful and can just leave you feeling invalidated.
I’m not saying blindly follow your feelings, it’s kind of against everything I teach in terms of making the unconscious conscious so it doesn’t rule your life.
It’s about being conscious and curious to what’s really going on for you, without judgement. Curiosity is the opposite of judgement.
But operating from that place creates some serious magic and can lead to profound changes for you.
You get to set boundaries.
With other people AND with yourself! It’s an integral part of the reparenting process.
The only way you can do that is to tune in to what it is you really need?
Those plans with friends who want to all get together…you can say no, thank you.
You can be honest and say you don’t feel ready.
That anxiety you feel. You can befriend it.
Understand it’s there to protect you!
Get curious about it instead of trying to push it away and try to hear what it’s trying to tell you.
Where do you feel it in your body?
Could it be you want to be quiet.
Could it be that you want to be on your own.
Could it be that you just want more time with your family.
Could it be that you need to change your environment.
Could it be that you need to be in the company of another person, even if you still can’t hug.
Could it be that you need a bubble bath and to meditate.
There’s absolutely no judgement to be made, whatever comes up for you. (as long as it’s legal!!)
You don’t have to try and be or do anything other than listen to your body.
What feels heavy, what feels light?
If ever a client is having a wobble. Or they’re stuck in an emotion. Or in a spiral, this question is incredibly grounding and the answer can be surprising.
But you have to ask.
And you have to listen for the answer.
It’s amazing what your unconscious mind will deliver us when we just ask!
When we’re not used to talking to ourselves in this way, or listening for the answer, it can feel a little foreign at first.
Some ‘stuff’ can come up around worthiness, being good enough, deserving.
If it does, just notice it.
The more your brain and nervous system knows you want to listen and give it a bit of a voice, the more it will let you.
Almost every client thinks I’m a fruit loop when I say these things…until they see the changes and see them quickly. They see how much EASIER life becomes with these tools that we should be taught in schools.
Basic, how to be a human!
So, instead of feeling consumed by anxiety. Feeling like you can’t tell anyone because you SHOULDN’T feel anxiety. Try this.
Get clear on what it is you’re feeling.
Share with people because there will be more people than you know feeling the same.
I asked in a poll on my Instagram and the majority of people said they were feeling anxious about things changing.
So you’re not alone!
If you want access to some of my favourite emotional regulation tools and techniques, to understand what really goes on in your body and brain when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, why you go there in the first place and the tools to be able to change that in the moment AND how to rewire your brain and nervous system over time for resilience then I will be looking for beta testers for my new 6 week group programme SOS. Success Over Stress.
Now, I’m literally mentioning it on here in this episode because you guys are my inner circle, I won’t be doing a big launch because I want it to be small and the beta round will be a whopping 50% off in exchange for your feedback throughout the programme, which ALSO means you’ll get extra attention and be able to tell me what you need throughout 😉
So if you want to be on less of an emotional rollercoaster in your business and your life then all you have to do is email SOS to email@example.com or DM me SOS on Instagram and I will give you all the details and answer any questions you have!
This is distilling all my been there, done it, got the T-shirt personal experience, my training and qualifications in multiple mind and body modalities and knowing what ACTUALLY works for me and my clients. I wholeheartedly believe it’s going to be a real game changer so I’d love for you to join!
I plan to start mid-late April but I won’t be mentioning it on the podcast again so if it’s calling you all you have to do is just email me firstname.lastname@example.org or DM @imfranexcell. Notice if there’s anxiety bubbling up in you even thinking about it, notice if there’s any resistance, be curious and press send.
For things to change, they have to change.
So ask yourself, what do I really need right now?
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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