There’s more than one way to do something
There’s more than one way to do something.
I know you’re thinking, ‘well, yeah obviously Fran.’
But bear with me here.
You may CONSCIOUSLY know there are different ways to do different things.
But if you want to do something in particular and you have unconscious programmes running telling you all the things you ‘can’t’ do as if it’s just a fact…what happens?
That’s exactly what you get…it will be a ‘fact’ to you.
You won’t find another way, even if it’s staring you in the face!
Are you with me?
If you have a programme running of the way things ‘have’ to be or ‘should’ look, then why would you look for another way?
This goes for everything in life. There really are always other options. But you have to look for them.
That’s the part that most of us miss out.
We take our stories and assumptions and just unconsciously run with them and let them govern 95-99% of what we do.
But what if there was another way?
There will be!
I remember getting SO annoyed with Tobyn for doing this. I used to HATE cooking anything in front of him (I mean why wouldn’t I, he’s a crazy good high level chef with 20 years experience vs my mince based dishes only repertoire) He always used to say ‘why are you doing it like that?’ and it used to trigger me big time!
Cue, angry rebuttal and potential argument!
I already know I have a big trigger for if someone says something that makes me feel ‘stupid’ or not good at something.
So it definitely stung.
It was a big enough deal for me to cook for him without him criticising HOW I was cooking for him!
But he wasn’t actually criticising me.
I made that story up in my head because I was triggered.
Now, the delivery wasn’t perfect from his side, tonality counts for a lot, ha!
But the sentiment was there and he was absolutely right.
Essentially he was trying to get me to think it through.
Literally asking ‘WHY’ I was doing it that way.
My response was usually along the lines of ‘it’s how my mum does it’ or ‘it’s how i’ve always done it’ and I’d say it with such an air of authority and self righteousness.
But he was totally right to challenge it.
If I had really thought it through I didn’t actually know the answer.
There WAS a much better way of doing it, and many reasons why the way I wasn’t doing it wasn’t the best or didn’t even make sense.
But we all sleep walk through these moments at times.
We let our triggers, our beliefs, our experiences get in the way of our growth.
And often, get in the way of the things that we want.
I remember YEARS ago when I really wanted to become a coach, I didn’t because I told myself a story that it wouldn’t work in the area I was living in.
I had the idea that it had to be in person, face to face.
I just accepted that. So until I had a lightbulb moment that you can coach people from anywhere in the world using the wonders of the internet, and felt a little silly for not seeing something so obvious, I delayed having what I really wanted.
This is why it’s so important to have people around you to challenge your ways of thinking. If they don’t, or you don’t learn to do it for yourself, you’ll always repeat loops.
You’ll always do things the way you’ve always done them, rather than finding a potentially better, more efficient, more beneficial way to do things.
So my example was cooking but this really does apply to everything.
Communication, your business, your routines, the shopping, relationships, work, anywhere where you’re doing something just because it’s ‘how you’ve always done it’ or because it’s how someone else does it.
This is why I love curiosity so much. The more curious you are, the more you question everything, the better life gets.
You find other ways of doing things. Better ways.
You feel the weight lift from your shoulders.
You stop doing the things you don’t like or want to be doing.
You find another way.
There is always one!
The bottom line is if something is not working for you it needs to be changed.
It needs to be looked at differently and through fresh eyes and a fresh perspective.
So where are you doing this at the moment?
Take your business, or being in your job.
If you don’t allow for ‘outside the box’ thinking you’ll get trapped in the ‘way it has to be’ loop. And you don’t need to.
Same for if you’re in a job or running a company.
The more you go through the motions and don’t ever look at things and how they could be better, what are you going to get?
With Covid 19 it’s going to fundamentally have to change so many things because everyone has been catapulted out of their habitual thinking and had to look at EVERYTHING.
Take offices, unless something big happens the 9-5 chained to your desk in an office image is likely to be a thing of the past.
There will be more companies offering working from home functionality. It’s a game changer. It’s going to become a real benefit to help gain and retain staff.
It will become a case of if you’re NOT offering it, people will go elsewhere. So companies are going to have to innovate.
Look at independent businesses, there are new business models coming up ALL the time because people have been forced to innovate. Forced to consciously think things through.
There is so much more potential in outside the box thinking.
So many more viable options than ‘the way it’s always been’.
Now as a sociology and communications graduate and someone who’s obsessed with how we’re wired and human behaviour this has been SO fascinating for me to watch.
I look at something and see all the potential options. ‘OOoooh if Y happens then the knock on effect could be X over here and Z over there’ but that’s how I think.
I’ve wired myself that way.
And even I can’t always see extra options and get caught up in ‘the way things are’ thinking in the areas I’m not looking for it…like cooking for Chef Tobyn ha!
So where are you accepting things as the way they are?
Are you prepared to think outside the box?
There are so many opportunities to be had if you’re ready to take them.
Business isn’t the way it was. Corporations are changing. How you can earn money for yourself is changing. More and more side hustles, self employed people and limited companies are starting every single day.
The game has changed!
I’ve got a special episode coming for you next week with my friend Lisa Johnson who you’ve met before which I think you’re going to LOVE. If you haven’t listened to her episode on the bounce back series then go head there pronto!
It’s time to shake things up.
It’s time to build the life that we actually want. The one we deserve.
You get one life (depending on your beliefs ha!) so why not stop just accepting things and start taking ownership over it.
Amazing things wait on the other side of it!
Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here
Fran Excell, Mindset & Productivity Coach – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.