Ahhhh the pesky inevitable entrepreneurial mindset gremlins.
They can really hold you back, keep you stuck in self sabotage and stop you from taking action that you KNOW you need to.
We all know how getting stuck in procrastination frustration, feeling overwhelmed, full of self doubt and comparing ourselves to everyone while thinking ‘who am I to do this?’ can and WILL hold us back and stop us from taking the action we know we want and need to.
We also all know that we’re our own worst enemies.
We’re in our own way and we self sabotage.
We all have a tendency to do it at some point, new level new devil!
It’s not your fault. You’ve trained yourself to think that way. You’ve LEARNED it.
But guess what, you can learn to be the opposite if that’s who you want to be!
Your thoughts are not WHO you are and this doesn’t have to be your story anymore.
We can tame those gremlins, help you find your positive pants and get you out of self sabotage and into action.
I’ve just got to introduce you to the most common ones first so you know what (who) you’re dealing with and how to tame them.
The ‘Who are you to think you can do this’, ‘you’re a fraud, they’re going to find out’ gremlin.
A VERY pesky one and also a tameable one. What I want you to realise is that everyone deals with this one. EVERYONE. Well…At least 70% of the population and everyone who tries to achieve anything big.
Here are just a few of the big names who have openly talked about dealing with it; Sheryl Sandberg, Tom Hanks, Chris Martin, Meryl Streep, Maya Angelou, Penélope Cruz, Emma Watson, Tina Fey, Jodie Foster…need some more? OK…Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert Pattinson, J Lo, Natalie Portman….ok ok i’ll stop…you get the message!
People who are INCREDIBLE and incredibly talented and still deal with this gremlin.
This IS going to come up at some point. Usually at every point you’re launching something new, uplevelling in some way, putting yourself out there.
Panic not…there is a way through and it starts with simply naming it…and then listing ALL the reasons you’re NOT an imposter. (For even more ways to push through Imposter syndrome click HERE)
Comparison really is the thief of joy.
You will tie yourself in knots with this gremlin. Unless, you stop doing it! Usually you’re comparing your 10th step to someone else’s 10,000th.
It’s often because we’re frustrated that we aren’t taking the action that we need to in order to get where we want to go and then what that leads to is resentment of other people’s success.
Then you get all bitter and twisty…and continue to self sabotage and not take the action that you know would get you there.
Just stay on your side of the road! Remember you never have the full picture of what someone else has or hasn’t got or is or isn’t doing so don’t assume you do. How much lighter would you feel if you just got on with what you’re doing?
You can see how possible it is for you, so trust that…now do it YOUR way. Not someone else’s!
Overwhelm is a pain in the bum of a gremlin but actually one of the easiest to sort.
It’s all about getting honest with ourselves and our self imposed deadlines. Prioritising and getting organised.
Often it’s actually really easy with everything down in front of you to see where you’re potentially going wrong. Firstly, stop looking at the BIG overwhelming scary task and break it down into manageable pieces, with a realistic timeline rather than the bonkers one you’ve given yourself…not so scary now!
Also, we do like to busy ourselves by being busy. Stop it.
Get honest about your to do list. What’s going to move the needle fastest, what’s a non negotiable vs a nice to have? What HAS to be done today rather than next week? (For more ways to tame the overwhelm gremlin click HERE)
Ooooooh one of my faves and i’ve totally got you covered here.
There are several main reasons that we procrastinate and don’t do the things that we really want to and need to and i’ve got a tip to get you through each one along with a self coaching workbook to get you through the sticky times! You are not a procrastinator but you have a habit of procrastinating. Identify all the main ways you do it, this will help with the awareness piece and help you build that discipline to get out of it. (For more information on the procrastination gremlin click HERE and don’t forget to download your procrastination buster at the bottom of the page)
I used to be plagued by self doubt, it held me back from doing anything I wanted to.
Notice I said ‘used to.’
This is a 100% tameable mindset gremlin even though it doesn’t feel like it, it just takes a little time to break down a lifetime of coding of you feeling like you’re having a negative conversation with yourself in your head.
It’s not YOU!
Next time you hear it talking to you negatively or telling you you can’t do something…give it a name, or a silly voice you will soon stop feeling so attached to it, so hurt by it and it will make what it says so much less believable. (it sounds silly but try it honestly!)
Your brain will play these tricks on you.
Every time you want to step out of your comfort zone it will try to keep you stuck.
It thinks it’s doing you a favour and protecting you from bears and saber tooth tigers (no…really!) but actually it’s holding you back.
See, the more you doubt your ability to do something the less likely you are to even try. It actively stops you from taking action.
BUT…once you realise that when you DO step outside your comfort zone and take action and nothing bad happens, you’re showing your brain it’s FINE! It’s all GOOD! And then this is the space where you grow in confidence, you get braver, you start to back yourself because you’ve given yourself the evidence too. Getting outside of your comfort zone is pure magic! (For more ways to increase confidence and decrease self doubt click HERE)
So, Fear. Particularly pesky but again…tameable.
What are you afraid of? Failure, success, judgement, being wrong, all of the above?
Remember I mentioned that part of the brain that protects you from bears and saber tooth tigers? That’s your Amygdala, and it’s VERY close to the memory centre of the brain.
Now not to get too technical here but the problem with that is that the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and what’s imagined. (this is why visualisation is so powerful!)
So what happens is when you’ve catastrophised about the worst case scenario you’ve had all the same physiological and chemical reactions in the brain as if it had already happened, and your hippocampus stores that ‘memory’ which will activate the fear centre of the brain (amygdala) every time you go anywhere NEAR taking action towards getting what you want.
So, what works one way will work the other…which is where the visualisation comes in.
Start to picture the BEST case scenario. Really allow yourself to feel the feelings as if it’s already happened. You’ve got that article published, you did your facebook live, you’ve got that book deal or speaking gig.
Remember Fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s not happened yet. You have more control than you think. For more ways to tame that Fear gremlin click HERE)
Now this is a BIG one, but one not enough people focus on.
That’s why i’m always talking about finding your positive pants. If you are negative in your outlook or thought processes it WILL affect your ability to succeed.
If you look at one situation negatively it’s how you’ll look at all situations because you have trained your brain that negativity or pessimism is the path of least resistance and it becomes how you behave in all areas of your life.
I know because it used to be me! I was like Eeyore on a bad day and let me tell you, it’s the fastest way to quit, to give yourself excuses and the fastest way to not believe in yourself fso you need to nip it in the bud.
Remember happiness doesn’t come from success, it’s the other way around. Success comes from happiness!
Gratitude is literally the antidote to fear and anxiety and a great place to start on the road to being more positive.
So you need to be making sure that you have these positive emotions running through your veins. You will be more resilient, you will look for the lesson and the opportunity rather than the struggle or the threat.
You will believe in yourself and your ability.
You will see obstacles as forks in the road leading you down a better path.
You will know that there is no such thing as ‘failure’ only lessons to learn.
When you can go through growing your business with that attitude then you will be unstoppable.
If you don’t, you will feel like you’re pushing water uphill and the ups and downs will be hard to bear.
(For even more reasons positivity is so important click HERE)
How much lighter do you think you’d feel with this way of thinking?
These are ALL tameable. All fixable. You just need to shift how you think.
Please understand that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you if you’re feeling ANY of these, they are an INEVITABLE part of the process of trying to achieve anything big.
When you can understand why and where they’re coming from and how to push through them it will all feel so much easier.
We’ve just got to find your positive pants as positive emotions will neutralise the effects of all of these on the amygdala, calm it down, so you can take the action you want and need to!
You’ll be unstoppable!
If you want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability then come join me in my private community below or book in a free discovery call HERE to see if we’re a good fit to work together and tame YOUR gremlins!!
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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