Are you stuck in learning mode?
Chasing more strategy and ‘how to’ knowledge but never actually implementing.
Or dipping your toe in the water and deciding it’s not going to work for you and giving up?
Are you overwhelmed all the time with the sheer amount you’re telling yourself you need to learn BEFORE you can take any action?
I get it.
I’ve been there.
The thing that a lot of people won’t tell you is a huge amount of it is just unconscious strategies.
Your brain and your nervous system are always trying to protect you and keep you in the familiar. The already rehearsed. No moral compass or analytics into what’s ‘good’ for you or ‘bad’ for you but just what’s already tried and tested.
So it’s going to feel hard to take action and do new things to start with, that’s a given.
But what if the strategies go above and beyond that.
What if the strategies ARE the behaviours that are keeping you stuck not because it’s trying to keep you in your comfort zones but BECAUSE those behaviours are the rehearsed.
BECAUSE those patterns are safe in your body.
If your nervous system is used to chaos and overwhelm it’s going to try to repeat that, and not trust when things are easy, balanced or calm. So it’s going to do it’s best to keep you in that behaviour, in that state.
What if stress is the familiar pattern? What if stress is what registers as safe in your body? Again, probably not going to trust things that make it feel easy.
What if ‘lack’ be it time or money is the familiar, safe state of being to your nervous system? If you have an opportunity to be out of lack, what might happen?
Good old self sabotage.
Being stuck in learning mode is another strategy. It keeps you in consume mode and out of action mode. Safe, right? If you’re not taking the action you need to then you’re going to stay nice and cosy, safe and warm in the familiar.
The ‘doing’ is ‘future you’s’ problem.
But there comes a point, and I see it ALL the time, where you get frustrated and start to question yourself.
You’ve jumped from course to course, training to training, membership to membership and you’re sick of it.
You’re overwhelmed because your world is too noisy and you’re not allowing yourself to actually take the steps forward.
It’s not your fault.
But it’s something not enough people are talking about because they know that when you figure it out, you might not buy!
And the marketers want you in consume mode, thinking that their exact system is the missing piece of the puzzle that if you only follow their exact steps then you’ll have everything that you want.
You’ve been duped.
You don’t need more strategy that’s just going to leave you more confused and overwhelmed.
You need to learn to regulate your emotions and rewire your nervous system for safety.
That’s the missing piece of the puzzle.
That’s the piece so many people aren’t telling you.
That’s the ‘magic bullet’.
It’s just the truth is a lot less sexy than ‘hit your first £10k month’ or ‘make 6 figures in 6 months’.
So you stay stuck. Consuming more and more and not moving forwards.
But the reality is, you already know all the stuff. You need to implement.
You need support, accountability and the ability to regulate your nervous system.
That’s the truth.
But the truth is that takes a little bit of time…the less sexy part!
It’s less sexy because we’re wired as humans for instant gratification. And that’s what so many marketers will sell you.
And you’re left feeling flat. And not good enough. And lacking trust in yourself.
It’s not your fault.
People figure this out in their own time. It hurts my heart but it’s so true. It’s often when people realise just how much time, money and heartache they’ve spent chasing something, when what needed to happen was for it to be ‘safe’ to take action.
Learning to create safety in your body and regulate your emotions and understand your behaviour is a freaking super power.
Combine that with self awareness and you’re unstoppable!
But people will let you think that all you need is their exact 26 step process and you’ll be on your way. But it’s not the truth.
I’ve spoken to so many people over the last couple of weeks that I’ve been launching The Positive Pants Toolkit and they’re tired.
They’re burned out by the rollercoaster of hope followed by guilt, shame and hopelessness.
They’re burned out by the constant consumption when what they need is support and this little superpower I keep talking about of being able to regulate your emotions.
It’s, in my opinion, fundamental to being a business owner. It’s fundamental when you’re trying to climb the corporate ladder, it’s fundamental in life.
Your emotions drive your behaviour. Your unconscious programming dictates your thoughts that lead to your feelings which lead to your actions and lead to your results and the loop continues.
This sounds dramatic but I’m so so sick of seeing people fall into the trap of more and more strategy but then sabotage any progress because they don’t understand the real reasons they’re holding themselves back and then beating themselves up for it.
Strategy is amazing, of course, everyone needs strategy and there are some things you need to know, you can’t get around that BUT in my opinion the MOST important thing is learning this stuff.
Learning to understand your own behaviour to the point that you have nothing but self compassion for yourself.
Where you’re able to experiment in your business and allow yourself to make mistakes without making it mean there’s anything negative, bad or ‘wrong’ about you.
To increase your resilience to the point nothing really phases you.
Sure you’ll get triggered, things will happen that are out of your control, you’ll have bad days and down days, you’re a human, but the frequency and duration go way down and your capacity to cope goes through the roof.
It’s exactly why I created The toolkit app and added the community. It’s SO hard to do on your own. BUT it’s also about not getting stuck in consume mode.
If you can find 5-10 minutes per day to use one of the tools in the app that’s enough to start rewiring your brain and nervous system.
You don’t have to sit in front of hours of content. Just 5 minutes per day is enough to get started and when you decide you have more time or want to go a little deeper the categorised podcast episodes are in there for you to help you understand your behaviour on a deeper level and create that all important self awareness.
Then it’s a monthly group call where you can get personal coaching from me to keep you moving forwards and out of stress and self sabotage.
I hear you. You’re tired. You’ve been working SO hard. But, whether it’s with me supporting you in The Positive Pants Toolkit, someone else, a book on the subject, or just starting to try one of the tools I’m always banging on about like meditation, EFT or journaling.
What if you just stuck with all the information you already have, all the strategy you already know and just try working on the inner stuff for abiti and see how much further along you can get.
What if you get rid of the confusion, the overwhelm, the shiny objects and just start there.
If you choose to join me in The Toolkit as a founding member, today (Monday 7th Feb) is the last day to get in for £32 per month and take advantage of the founding member pricing and bonuses of a 15 min 1:1, in person meet up in the spring and to become an ambassador.
I hope you relieve the pressure for yourself a bit. You can do this. I believe in you.
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time and feel more in control.
Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here
Download your FREE Stressed To Success Meditation here