As we go into Christmas week I always like to put my thoughts out in a little round up style thingy, with some added food for thought before we take a break until the new year.
It’s been a big year for so many. We have to acknowledge, the last 2 years have all weirdly blurred into one and so many people are tired.
So many people are burned out.
So many people are over it and wondering how things will ever go back to some semblance of normal.
So many people are missing another Christmas with loved ones.
It’s a lot.
It’s ok to acknowledge that.
You can feel the hurt and still be grateful for other things.
We also need to acknowledge that most of us have probably been living in some kind of perpetual state of fight, flight or freeze since March 2019.
We might be feeling extra angry, snappy, frustrated and agitated in fight.
We might be avoiding things or isolating ourselves in flight.
Or we might be in all out shut down, numbing and dissociating in various ways in freeze.
We are not built to live that way for long periods of time..
It’s exhausting. It’s draining.
The brain and nervous system craves and seeks certainty and to repeat the familiar. That’s been pretty tough to find.
But you’re still here.
Look what you’ve made it through!
Take a minute to really look at what you’ve achieved this year.
Notice what you feel in your body when I talk about achievement too.
You may not feel like you’ve achieved much this year but I reiterate. You’re still here.
It may not be something financial, it may not be a milestone, it may just be taking a second to acknowledge yourself for something you overcame.
You’ve made it through homeschooling. Uncertainty. Constant change.
You may have had your best year ever and you get to not feel guilty about that!
You may be enjoying the fact that the social shenanigans and obligations are being cancelled left, right and centre.
You get to feel that!
You get to feel ANYTHING you feel. It’s valid and has its place, don’t get tied up in ‘shoulds’ or other people’s opinions, including mine!
We can also find some positives.
We’re operating less on auto-pilot than we ever have. Even though that’s more tiring, it’s allowing us to question things and find better ways of doing things. Ways that serve us better.
We’re learning to challenge ourselves, our thoughts and our feelings.
The conversation is more loud and alive than ever when it comes to mental health. We’re being more honest and open.
We’re learning to embrace the unfamiliar.
We’re learning resilience.
We’re learning that we can do hard things.
We’re learning just how capable we are.
So however you’re feeling right now. Be proud. You’ve made it.
Go into this holiday period remembering to ask yourself, ‘what do I want, and what do I need right now?’
For lots of us that will mean rest.
Guilt free rest.
I know that’s harder for some than others to get.
But I’d love for you to challenge yourself with a small shift in thinking.
Instead of going through the motions of doing what you’ve always done, by yourself or in your family unit.
Instead of listening to the ‘I can’ts’ that are there purely because you haven’t before, or perhaps you’ve felt you can’t ask for help or you’re just operating from ‘it’s always been that way’.
Reframe that ‘I can’t’ to a question for yourself of ‘how could i?’ How could I get that thing I want and need? What’s a different way I just might be able to achieve it?
Allow yourself to sit with the question and see what comes up.
Notice yourself shutting down your thinking and keep asking.
It’s my favourite thing to do in a challenge. There’s always another way to look at something or do something.
The end of the year can feel tough because often people are heading head first into burnout. Then we expect things to magically change on the 1st of January.
But we all know it doesn’t work that way…Then we shame ourselves and should all over ourselves, it’s cold AND the festive cheer has gone and there’s only so many times you can say Happy New Year, did you have a nice break before it gets weird!
So I’ve put a little something together for you all.
I’m often asked how I started my little ‘journey’ from Eeyore on a bad day, the world’s biggest anxiety ridden catastrophiser, the emotional dementor in the room to someone who can host a show called the Positive Pants Podcast and be the Fran 2.0 that you see today.
Well, I’m gonna help you with that by showing you!
I got inspired by all the advent calendar and 12 days of Christmas excitement and thought….why does the fun have to stop in January?
Why can’t we still get gifts in January?
Who made up that rule?!
So I’m running The Positive Pants January Jumpstart.
Every day in January you’ll get a short and sweet email from me.
In that email might be a tool or a technique, maybe a prompt, maybe a reframe or a book recommendation, all sorts that I’ve picked up since 2014 through my personal and professional experience.
Essentially I’m going to help you along on the journey to start rewiring your brain through neuroplasticity by doing one small thing every day.
Nothing taxing or strenuous.
Bringing it back to basics and keeping it simple.
That’s how I started.
I was in such a state, no self esteem left, ego on the floor, an emotional wreck after losing our business, our home, a car crash I was very lucky to walk away from, knee surgery that went badly, moving in with my mother in law and no idea how anything was ever going to get better.
It was the hardest time in my life, and the one I’m most grateful for!
I just challenged myself to do one small thing per day. Read one thing and try to live by it for that day.
So that’s what I’m giving you. Just one small thing per day. Things that I know WORK!
No self blaming or shaming. No complicated routines, you don’t have to get up at 5am. All you need to do is open the email and either do the small task or keep what it says front of mind for the day.
Small changes are the ones that lead to the profound changes.
I’d LOVE for you to join me!
If you’re already on my email list you’re going to get this and you don’t need to do a thing. You can just sit back, relax and i’ll see you on the first of January.
If you’re NOT on my email list head to https://bit.ly/fransjumpstart. If you’re hearing this pre-January the first, you’ll get everything from the first. If you’re hearing this after January the first please do still join you’ll just get the next day’s email.
I really hope you love it and it brightens your inbox just a little.
In the meantime, thank you so much for listening. I’m truly truly grateful for each and every person who tunes in, subscribes, shares on social, recommends to friends, leaves a review and allows me to continue running this little baby of mine.
I had no idea what to expect when I started this little project. Now it’s been listened to over 300,000 times all over the world and I could not be more grateful!
Have an amazing Christmas and New Year and I’ll see you back here on the 3rd January for our 4th birthday.
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time and feel more in control.
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.