25 Things I Wish I’d Known Sooner
There are so many things I know now that, had I known sooner, would have saved me a lot of time, energy, heartache and stress.
We put ourselves through so much just in our own heads and it’s only on the other side of the growth that we get that amazing gift of hindsight and can look back and see with more clarity.
We can see the lessons.
We have the lightbulb moments.
When I started this podcast that was my biggest aim.
To help people see that it’s so possible for things to change.
So I thought i’d share 25 of my favourite things that I wish I had known sooner with you today.
- It’s ok to love what you love. Other people will love it and you will find them. Be your very own special brand of weird and embrace it.
- School wasn’t set up to nurture ‘different’. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong or not good enough, it usually means the opposite. When you read the autobiographies or pay attention to the stories of a lot of the most successful people around you’ll see the patterns. More often than not they were not in the popular crowd. They were the outcasts. The quiet ones or the people who didn’t fit in. Whatever people told you about who you were when you were young, it means nothing. What are YOU going to decide about who you are?
- You have way more control over your life and outcomes than you believe. We are ruled by our unconscious programming, but the more you decode it, the more in the drivers seat you are. Learn the inner workings of your SELF! It’s far more important than you realise.
- Growth is always in the things you’re scared to do. Not the things you’re already great at. Get excited about what’s on the other side. Sometimes the things we’re scared to do are exactly the things we need to do.
- Friendships go in ebbs and flows. People come into and leave your life. It can be really sad but if you’re in a different stage of your friendship right now, it doesn’t mean it will always be that way. Either way it’s ok.
- Spend less time with the people that make you feel not good enough and more time with the people who make you feel ‘you’. It’s never worth the pain of feeling like it’s not ok to be you and you’ll just reinforce that time and time again. Stick with the people who make you feel like sunshine!
- Time with the people you love is not something to take for granted. Work and purpose are great, but not at the expense of time.
- You can learn to regulate your emotions and rewire your brain and nervous system and when you do it will change your whole life!
- Curiosity is a huge key to your own happiness. When you seek to understand yourself and other people, everything gets much clearer and less judgemental.
- The people who are the most successful are the people who are the most comfortable being uncomfortable and the most ok with failing, making mistakes and getting things wrong. It’s more than ok to make mistakes!
- Communication is a skill and one of the most important ones that you can learn. Actively learn to listen and communicate. So much of this is shut down when we’re young. It’s something the majority of us need to relearn as adults.
- Fear has nothing to do with who we are as people. It’s not part of our identity. It’s a protection mechanism and when you learn the tools to regulate your nervous system, fear has no control over you.
- Discomfort means growth is coming. You literally can’t have one without the other. It’s part of the process. You can absolutely learn to embrace that discomfort as a positive thing!
- It’s impossible for everyone to like you. Stop trying to make them.
- There are no fixed timelines for you to ‘make it’ or feel like you have your ‘stuff’ together. Restart. Trust it can lead you somewhere great. It usually does.
- It’s ok to take a break when you need one. In fact, it’s essential. Listen to your body.
- Your thoughts influence your physiological reactions and vice vers leading directly to your actions. The quality of your thoughts correlate directly to the state of your nervous system and vice versa. Heal your nervous system, change your thoughts.
- There’s no point holding on to regrets. Focus on what you learned and move on. There’s always something positive to find there and rumination doesn’t change anything.
- It’s ok to change your mind ad decid you want or need something different.
- Sometimes not getting what you want is a huge blessing in disguise and leads you somewhere far better.
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone else and ignore nuance. There is SO much you don’t know about what or who you’re comparing yourself to. You are not comparing apples with apples. It’s an absolute waste of time. Just because someone SAYS they’re happy, doesn’t mean they are.
- Know your values and make sure you live them. Not living in alignment with your values is a sure fire path to unhappiness and anxiety.
- Bad days and negative emotions are totally normal.
- The simple things are often the most effective. Don’t overcomplicate things when you don’t have to.
- You are and always have been good enough.
There are probably a million more but these are some of my favourites that have well and truly stuck with me. I hope they stick with you too.
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners & Executives Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time, get off the emotional rollercoaster and feel more in control.
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