It may or may not have escaped your attention but if you’re on my email list you already know…I missed my first podcast episode since 2018. I totally lost my voice for a whole week…and it’s kind of an essential tool when it comes to recording audio.
But I’m back. Not 100% firing on all cylinders so please forgive me if there’s a cough that I don’t edit out.
But, it’s ended up being a happy turn of events because had I recorded this episode when I was meant to I wouldn’t have had the glorious opportunity to bring the new kid on the block into the mix…Meta’s new social platform, Threads!
The new kid on the block that it feels like EVERYONE is talking about!
And if you haven’t heard, it’s basically Meta’s new version of twitte so i’ll touch on that a little in a moment..
So… for the context of this episode, It may or may not have also escaped your attention but i’ve been on a bit of a social media hiatus for quite some time!
I’ve not really been online at all for a number of months. Either posting or scrolling.
There were various reasons why that started and in all honesty it wasn’t 100% intentional at first. I was just doing what I do and listening to what my mind and body needed in the midst of the chaos I have been managing personally.
In all honesty it’s been one of the best things I’ve done for myself and I want to talk about why i’ve done it and why I think it’s been so good.
If you’ve been listening for a while you’ll know that the last year has been quite the personal rollercoaster. Which annoyingly I still can’t really talk about yet but ohhh it’ll be worth it when I can. There have been SO many lessons learned and SO much growth.
However, it has meant that I have felt like I can’t really show up and be authentic on social media most of the time. If I can’t be totally authentic I honestly don’t see the point.
If i’m not having fun with it and being genuine I’d just rather not in all honesty. In spite of any ramifications in terms of audience and revenue and all that stuff.
I’m all for being a human being first!
I’m still showing up on my emails every single Wednesday and here every Monday…obviously you know that because you’re listening.
Because those two places feel good and authentic to me right now.
I’ve always done my best to make sure that anything I put out is authentic to me at that time and I don’t want to feel like i’m hiding things because at the end of the day this whole podcast is about being able to share lessons and knowledge around how to live better, think better and behave better as a human right?
There’s also some very ‘practical’ reasons, which will eventually all become clear, as to why I haven’t wanted to be online.
You have to think about what social media is training into your brain.
It’s training you to have a shorter and shorter attention span.
It’s getting you addicted to the little dopamine hits that come with likes and follows and a feeling of inclusion and belonging.
It’s also getting you addicted when that DOESN’T happen too.
It’s training you into distraction and procrastination.
It’s training you to not be present.
It’s training you to use significant amounts of your precious time doing essentially nothing and then feel like you don’t have any left.
It’s training you to not be out in nature, with people, reading books, to be removed from what’s going on where and when you actually are!
It’s training you to value the thoughts of people you’ve never met before over your own.
And I feel like I have all of this back, which is glorious.
I feel more balanced, calm, in control.
Now all this sounds super ominous and it is, IF you’re not consciously aware of how you choose to use and engage with it because lets be honest, for all it’s faults it can be fun.
Social media can connect you to people you wouldn’t have been able to be connected with previously.
As a child of the 80s and 90s I remember what it was like not having that. A time before mobile phones and the era of snail mail.
I remember what it meant if friends moved away or if you moved schools etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful I experienced it and grew up in that environment. I’m simply saying I CAN see the benefits in SPITE of the negatives.
With social media and the interwebs it means you can stay connected to people far away. You can connect to people with similar interests from across the globe. You can have long distance relationships etc etc.
So there ARE positives.
You have to be intentional when using and prioritising your energy and emotional resources.
It’s so important. You can very easily LOSE yourself to the dopamine hits on social media.
I’ve seen a lot of celebrities and influencers come out and talk about the negative effect that feeling like they have to be online ALL the time is having on them.
How other people’s opinions are affecting them negatively…because let’s be honest, social media really can be the cesspit of human behaviour at times.
So knowing how and when to protect yourself is essential.
You’re a human being, not a robot, and it’s SO important to be able to listen to your mind and body and do what’s right for you. Often that means a break.
I’ve seen lots of celebrities and influencers taking breaks and coming back when they feel better in themselves and i’m glad they’re modelling that. So i’d love for you to see that as evidence that the world doesn’t implode if you do what’s right for you.
Yes of course it likely means a drop in stats, maybe even income. But if you have your ducks in a row then weigh up what’s more worth itand/or important in the long term for you.
There’s no judgement to be made either way if you’re not judging yourself for it.
We only fear the judgements we’re already making ourselves, so get that in check and you’ll be able to make much clearer decisions.
This is, guess what…where self awareness comes into play! Shock horror.
If you know what your values and priorities REALLY are it makes it so much easier. This includes all the unconscious ‘stuff’ at play behind your decisions.
What feels authentic and GOOD to you?
How do you measure success?
How do you measure worth?
Where do you see your mental and physical health in your priorities?
If you need a break, take a break.
Figure out how you can make it happen.
Monitor the changes in you.
Go back if and when you feel like it.
Then we briefly need to have a little chat about Threads really don’t we.
The success of Threads so far shows that people are craving change.
It’s slightly unnerving how many people are talking about how it’s more fun over there and they feel like they can be themselves rather than a curated version of that.
It’s good that that feeling of safety is over there for now but I think that also tells you a heck of a lot about how much is being forced and fake over on other platforms, which is definitely food for thought!
So with Threads, don’t feel like you have to jump on the bandwagon or you’ll feel left behind.
Be aware of the addictive dopamine that will be coming out to play.
Notice how you feel when using or perusing.
Does it feel fun and expansive?
Does it feel authentic to you?
If you’re having fun, have fun.
If you’re not, leave.
So much of our happiness in this life comes from our own conscious awareness of ourselves. Our behaviour, thoughts and feelings.
The same is absolutely true of social media.
Don’t beat yourself up for giving yourself what you need and being honest about what you don’t.
For me it’s been one of the best things i’ve given myself permission to do.
It’s made a world of difference and increased certain thingsin my life like presence, authenticity, calm, time, peace and so much more at a time when all of those things were needed. It feels like the definition of staying in your own lane.
It might give you something different.
It’s all about intention.
I’ve absolutely zero interest in any falseness or fakery of any kind. It’s not something I like or am comfortable with in my world.
I’ve joined Threads to see if it will be a place with more authenticity and maybe i’ll find it fun and dip my toe back in the water. Who knows. That’s the beauty. You get to choose.
I’m loving knowing that i’m the one in control of my boundaries, time and energy and I get to choose to go back if and when feels right for me.
And in the meantime i’m going to enjoy the connection I feel here and over on my email list.
Fx
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners & Executives Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time, get off the emotional rollercoaster and feel more in control.
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