Don’t Fear A No!

Do you not take certain actions in your business (or your life to be fair!) because you fear getting a ‘no’?   Do you stop yourself advertising your services, or putting out a promo post because you fear the no?   We’ve all been there at some point.  I hear you.   However, after 15 years in sales, including plentiful cold calling, I know a thing or to about the ‘no’!   I’d like to try and give you a different perspective that may help you take that next step. Because selling, and putting yourself out there to hear ‘no’ from time to time is fundamental to your business.  Without it, you don’t have one.  

It’s time to stop looking at a ‘no’ as a failure.

  Getting a no can be a GOOD thing!   Huh?   I remember when I first started in classified advertising sales at the big national newspaper for their magazines.     I was cold calling Independent Financial Advisors every day and it terrified me, daily.   How I even got the job in the first place I don’t know because it was so wildly different from my personality to have a job like that. I was very self conscious, had a huge fear of rejection and no confidence in myself, let alone my ability to sell.  Doesn’t make for the best sales person on paper really does it!    Little did I know that, once I was able to get out of my own way, it was actually the start of a successful career working for some of the UK’s biggest newspaper and magazine brands.     It was horrendous, I don’t wish cold calling on anybody, HOWEVER, it was 100% an amazing foundation in sales, difficult conversations, how not to take ‘no’ personally, how relationships and building rapport were the key to everything and that getting a no was not (most of the time!) a reflection on me!   It was not a reflection of my own self-worth.  And it’s the same for you.  

Don’t fear rejection

  Nobody likes to get rejected, it’s one of the top fears as a business owner, along with failure.     So a ‘no’ in this sense can feel like a complete double whammy on the gut punch front!      On the other side, It’s easy to say no when you don’t know someone.     You haven’t built that relationship with them yet.   The average person needs to see a message at least 7 times before saying yes, even then there are certain mental barriers we can put up, objections, stories that we tell ourselves, we often need a little scarcity to get us off the fence to help us make the decision and so many other factors that contribute to whether it’s a yes or a no.  

BUT…Every no gets you closer to a yes.  

  It’s also great practice, and what does practice make?     You get to analyse what works for you and what doesn’t, and tweak and test over time.   

There’s also something to be said for finding YOUR way to sell.  

  If you’re trying to sell something in a way that you would never buy from, then you’re highly likely to sabotage yourself because it will feel fundamentally against your values.   Also, If you’re trying to sell in a way that would annoy YOU, it’s highly likely to annoy your ideal client. Our ideal client is often some version of ourselves so how you would feel about something, or would have felt about something is often a good indicator of how your audience might feel.  

Don’t make that ‘no’ MEAN something it doesn’t. 

  For example, If you don’t make that one sale then it means you’re not good enough and your business is never going to work so you may as well quit now. Really?!   Remember when you’re running a service-based business you’re not only selling yourself which can be scary but it’s a PERSON on the other end of the line.     It’s not a number, it’s not just you being able to pay your bills, it’s a real life human being with their own fears and feelings on the line.     So, when you can come to the conversation and help them make the best decision for THEM, even if at this point it IS a no, then that ‘no’ will never feel BAD because you’ve still helped someone, and they’ll remember that too.     You’ve helped them make a decision that’s right for them and where they are right now, they will appreciate and absolutely respect you for guiding them through that.  

There are SO many reasons why someone would say no, most of which are nothing to do with you.  

  Timing, genuine cost reasons, (perceived) time availability, they don’t trust you or they don’t trust that your service solves their problem.    They may simply not be the right fit for you, their problem may not be something you can actually help with, they may have different criteria for what they’re looking for…perhaps they want the cheapest, not the best option…you don’t know and it’s best not to assume.   There are MANY other reasons but these are the most common.   

Just because it’s a no the first time round, doesn’t mean it will always be a no.

  It’s important to seek feedback where you can so you can learn from the experience and a ‘no’ can really give some great learnings.     Not everyone will give it to you but those that do can really shift your perspective on why it was a no in the firstplace without making it all about you.   So asking the scary question, ‘What could have made this a yes for you?’    This is also where a lot of sales can actually get turned around, because if the objection is something really solveable you can help coach them through it. The insights you can gain simply from asking are huge!    It’s VERY helpful to notice where your focus is.  If your focus is on the ‘no’ before you even put out the post, or get on the call you’re energy IS going to come across.     If you can shift that focus on the negatives of a potential ‘no’ to one of service to the person on the other end and a potential YES…then you will approach it in a MUCH better space, with a MUCH better energy and THAT will come across.    

Remember you’re always selling anyway.  

  When you’re talking to your spouse, friends, your kids and you’re trying to get them to do the right thing for them, or what you want them to do that’s selling and negotiating!    It’s easy to focus on a ‘sales call’ as a big scary thing when it’s plain and simple a conversation where you’re trying to see if you’re the right fit for each other and helping someone make a potentially big decision.     As much as you’re making a ‘no’ mean something specific to you, they are making a ‘yes’ mean something specific to them or about them.   They may not feel worthy enough of the investment in themselves which is a HUGE reason people can say no to a big investment.   There are a TONNE of assumptions and stories we make when we’re going into a call or on a call.     Often we’ve decided if this person is going to work with us before they even get on the phone based on what they may or may not have said on an intake form.     But that’s just what they are, opinions, assumptions and stories, they aren’t fact.   If you don’t sell, you won’t have a business it’s plain and simple.     If people aren’t aware you can solve their problems then how can you solve them?   When you feel that fear bubbling up ask yourself what happens if you don’t sell??    If you DON’T put yourself out there for a potential no? Are you denying help to someone who you COULD help?    Try and take it away from what it means for YOU and your business, what does it mean for the people on the other side of it?   Listen to what you’re telling yourself about selling or getting a no, what are you making it mean?     What do you believe about sales? Do you see it as sleazy or of service?  What image do you get when you think of someone selling to you?   Ask yourself what you make a YES mean! If you’re not confident in what you’re selling you may be just as fearful of the yes in case you can’t deliver.   When you can work out what some of these beliefs are, you can challenge them.    So instead of simply focusing on the negatives of getting a ‘no’, what could be some potential positives?    Remember you can also say ‘no’ to a potential client.  If they aren’t the right fit for you you get to say so, so it’s not one sided.   If you started your business because you wanted to help people in some way then help them by telling them you can help them solve their problems.   If you’re confident in your product or service and the difference you could make to someone’s life…why would you not put yourself out there for the ‘no’.  What if it’s a yes and you change someone’s life for the better?   If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Programme and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now! Fx Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com RESOURCES: Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here Download your FREE Stressed To Success Meditation here Shop Printables & Meditations here Grab your 365 day ‘Attitude Of Gratitude’ Journal here Grab Your ‘Positive Pants Firmly On’ Notebook here Book In a Free 20 Minute Discovery Call here