It’s time to look at progress, success and what happiness in your business truly looks like, differently.
There’s a shift coming and I’m SO here for it!
I’ve been banging this drum for a very long time now and if you’ve been listening for any amount of time you’ll hopefully know that I do not subscribe to the crazy ‘guru’ marketers and ‘celebrity’ coaches out there’s depiction of what success and progress really looks like and I find it incredibly problematic and toxic.
Whether that’s in business, careers, weight loss, personal growth and healing…anything!
The idea of overnight success, click your fingers and it’s done and the very concept of what that success actually looks like, or ‘should’ look like.
It becomes the very thing that keeps people trapped in a cycle of feeling worse and worse when they don’t get the unicorn results.
People are waking up and wising up to it and I for one am ELATED about that.
So many people come into starting their own business purely because they want more flexibility in their lives.
Which is actually easier to achieve when you’re going for what were your original goals in the first place. Often to replace a salary or a bit more.
Then they’re sold the ‘six figures in six months’ idea and the concept of seven, or even eight figure businesses now without taking into account any real version of what it took to get them there and the original goal seems like you’re ‘playing small’.
Or the idea that they are completely healed (impossible by the way, growth IS the human experience, the work is never done and that’s a beautiful thing!) and they can show you the exact steps to do the same thing yourself.
We don’t actually know if they’re really ‘there’ at all.
We never hear the nuance of their personal circumstances and privilege.
We don’t know the nuance of any healing they had to go through to get there or how long that took.
We don’t know the full story of any of it.
But we benchmark ourselves against it!
Or, we have done for far too long and people are more clued up and are asking themselves better questions.
And nothing could make me happier.
The bottom line is your identity has to catch up before something shows up in your reality.
Without doing the inner work and having a deep look into the self awareness piece of the puzzle you’ll hit barriers every step of the way because your brain and nervous system WILL put them there.
Having what you want has to feel SAFE in your nervous system, if it doesn’t then self sabotage ahoy!
Last week I was oop North in Blackpool for the wrap up of The Mentorship. The high level 6 month programme that I run with Dawni Baxter and Abi Hugo.
I’m amazed I didn’t cry when we were going round the table talking about results, what the biggest thing they’re taking away from the programme is, their plan going forward and their focus for 2023 because everything i’ve ever wanted to hear from someone I’m working with was exactly what was coming out of their mouths and I could be more proud of every single one of them.
So I wanted to share some of the key points in the hope that it might inspire a little shift in you too, to see what’s possible when you let go of some of the conditioning that’s very purpose is to keep you trapped in a cycle of needing more when you have so much of what you already need within you right now.
I wholeheartedly believe that. You just have to back yourself and have the support and reminders to believe it.
So here we go, these are some of my favourite key points from our discussion.
The shift to Internal from external validation. This is HUGE for me. Hearing this felt like absolute ‘mission accomplished’ for me. Letting go of numbers in exchange for how you FEEL about yourself. Knowing that numbers do not define you in any way.
Putting yourself first. I believe we all need to apply this. Nothing should come at the expense of our physical, mental or emotional health. It’s been too long that hustle culture has been glorified to the detriment of self. It HAS to stop. Not compromising self to keep up with the joneses.
Turning away money if it’s at the expense of mental health, physical health, ethics. Being able to do this in the face of potential scarcity is a HUGE win! Knowing when it’s right for you and when it’s wrong for you. There are SO many more benefits that come from being able to do this than will ever come from taking the money anyway.
How important doing the inner work truly is. Being able to truly find themselves in the process of undoing unhelpful conditioning. The strength and clarity that you find there is invaluable and life changing.
Recognising what a REAL ‘lifestyle’ business can look and feel like. A lifestyle business is one that fits into the lifestyle you really want. For most people, when they’re really honest with themselves, is far simpler (and easy to achieve!) than the social media ‘lap top lifestyle’ images. For many people this might look like working less per week, with flexible hours, loving what you do and staying under the VAT threshold. There’s no judgement to be had either way but all too often I see people sacrificing what they really want for what they think they should want, and that if they don’t have means they aren’t good enough. Remind yourself of what it was you originally wanted and why. Get there first, then continue to grow if you want to.
Feeling confidence and clarity around your direction while being able to be authentically you. This should be so obvious but the vast majority of people don’t have this. Not having this is when shiny object syndrome can wreak havoc.
The power of Real authentic support, do you have it? If not, where could you find it?
Having the confidence to say yes to opportunities instead of hiding. Oof, I loved hearing this one!
Offerings that actually FEEL good. I promise when they do they’ll be so much easier to sell.
No more feeling like trying to fit square pegs into round holes. The reality is humans are nuanced creatures. No two are exactly the same in every way. You have to get to know your square pegs and round holes AND not judge yourself for not ‘fitting’ somewhere.
Flexibility and not being afraid to pivot.
If you take away the pressure cooker you’ll move so much faster!
A lot of that comes from figuring out YOU, which is at the heart of everything I do. When you do that, everything will become easier.
So I hope that inspires you to think a little differently about the year just gone, the one coming up and your own progress.
It’s often not the surface level ‘showy’ things that prove our progress, it’s the deep shifts of patterns, self identity and the way we feel which are the real marker of success.
I’m so grateful to have been a part of this for them. They did the work. There’s no getting around that part but if you have the right support around you you will absolutely fly!
And finally, before I take my little Christmas break, I wanted to say a huge heartfelt thank you to every single one of you listening to this.
Every single listen, subscribe, download, share, recommendation, review, it all means the absolute world to me and I can’t believe my little brain child of helping people understand themselves and how they tick has grown to where it is now.
So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I wish you happy festivities for whatever you’re doing.
I’ll see you on the flip side in January!
Fran Excell, Success Mindset Mentor at www.franexcell.com – Helping Business Owners & Executives Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage so they can get back their time, get off the emotional rollercoaster and feel more in control.
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.