Do you actually want the business you’re creating?
I know, weird question…of COURSE you want it right?
Why else would you be slogging your guts out evenings and weekends and sacrificing time with your loved ones if you didn’t?
Well, what if you want a business yes, but the one you’re creating is based on all the ‘shoulds’ you see around the place and actually it’s not 100% actually, really,truthfully, in any way what you want…you just didn’t realise it!
We are bombarded with messages in the online space about what our businesses ‘should’ look like. What success ‘should’ look like. So much so we’ve forgotten that the choice is actually ours.
There are so many experts out there telling you so many different things that you’ve lost sight of what you wanted to start in the first place.
There’s a BIG difference between getting overwhelmed and procrastinating over something you KNOW you want to do but don’t quite have the tools or the confidence yet, and sabotaging yourself because you subconsciously don’t really want it.
I got caught up in that trap for a while, it’s easily done because it’s oh so sneaky and subconscious.
I was doing ‘all the things’, feeling like I had to be on ALL the platforms but I suddenly realised I didn’t really want what I was putting all the work in to achieve.
It was confusing because as somebody who can identify VERY quickly when she’s procrastinating or overwhelmed or heading for burnout and has a tool up her sleeve for most things that get in her way, I couldn’t see past this one.
It was frustrating! I couldn’t work out what the fudge was going on. Then it hit me.
I’m great at self coaching and have a high level of awareness but even I have blind spots from time to time so it took me a while.
Then I realised, with some help from my amazing mentors. I want my business to fit into my life, not the other way around where my life literally becomes my business.
Some of the people I was seeing have what I perceived as ‘success’, the bigger audiences, the fast growth, the speaking gigs…all the things I knew I wanted. BUT, I did NOT actually want to do what they were doing to get it.
I didn’t want to turn every single thing I was doing into an Insta opportunity.
I didn’t want to ask my husband to take a million pictures of me while we were spending precious time together, to me, it takes away from our time together.
And guess what…shock horror ALL OF THIS IS TOTALLY FINE!!
You get to choose.
Now i’m not saying I don’t want to share, not at all.
I consider myself a serial over sharer and if you’ve ever met me you’ll know exactly what I mean ha…I’ll also get you over sharing too, even if it’s not something you’d normally do. It seems to be one of my super powers ha!
But here’s the thing that interests me.
It’s the knowledge that you CAN have all of those things, the faster growth, the constant visibility…but you get to choose to…or not to.
You get to choose to go the slow and steady wins the race route if you want to.
This is why I love people to just stay in their own lane and not compare because most of the time we don’t really want to do what the person we’re comparing ourselves to does to get it. You also never have the full story either.
I have been building a business based around my core values and at one point it just wasn’t sitting right. So I got to choose to put my boundaries in place.
My core values are freedom, authenticity and happiness. So you can see why feeling like I had to constantly be ‘on’ wasn’t fitting in with freedom and happiness!
I also feel like sharing things purely because you feel you HAVE to rather than sharing something because you genuinely WANT to doesn’t sit well with my authenticity value.
That’s why i’m a huge fan of batching. If you’ve got go to content you can remain consistent but still within your own boundaries, how you want to work and what fits into YOUR life. Win win!
For me it was just about reminding myself of those boundaries and reminding myself that I was building this for a certain lifestyle and a certain life for me and all my favourite people.
This is why my podcast has been SO perfect for me and is my biggest audience. It 100% fits in with my boundaries.
I create consistency which is important. I get to be myself which is important. I get to schedule around what works for me which is important and it hasn’t come as a surprise to me at all that this is the platform that has shown me the biggest growth and the closest bond with my audience. I’st always felt effortless to me.
So, if this has resonated with you I’m sure you’re thinking ‘Oooooh I wanna start a podcast’ and that’s great. I think it’s a great medium BUT, I really want you to ask yourself the important questions before you just jump in. Do this for all the things you’re doing in your business currently. Do you really enjoy them? Are they integral to your business? Could you outsource them rather than doing them yourself?
All really key questions to ask because at the end of the day if you’re slogging your guts out trying to build something that you actually don’t really want then you WILL get in your own way, you will sabotage your efforts and you’ll constantly feel like you’re operating from overwhelm, procrastination and frustration so as the end of the year approaches just ask yourself some of these key questions, really evaluate because you get to tweak, pivot, change, and experiment as you go along.
That’s the beauty of having your own business but it’s all about checking in with where you’re at and what your subconscious is up to! When you can bring the subconscious thoughts into the conscious it’s all change from there! Work out where the procrastination and overwhelm is coming from, which gremlins are keeping you stuck and take it from there. Everything is fixable!
If this sounds like you and you can be in London on the 5th January make sure you go grab your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live and we’ll go through all of this! There are only 13 tickets left and only 2 more that come with a bonus 1:1 call with me so i’ll put the link below! It’s going to be awesome!
If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com
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© 2023 Fran Excell. Success mindset mentor for entrepreneurs & executives.